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S05E01, “Romeo and Juliet and Juliet”:
Johnathan Jacob Jingly Smith
“Mr. Chiang, I’m the resident psychic here. My name is Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Johnathan Jacob Jingly Smith” – Shawn, “You’re saying his name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?” – Mr. Chiang, “That’s correct, sir. We used to share the name. I changed mine because of all the people shouting, when I went out.” – Shawn, 4:45
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt on Wikipedia
S05E02, “Feet Don’t Kill Me Now”:
Santonio Holmes
“I’m a psychic with the police department, this is my partner, Santonio Holmes.” – Shawn, 28:00
Santonio Holmes on Wikipedia
Deon Richmond
“Tonya, got bad news. These are cops, this is Deon Richmond, and I’m a psychic. I see things and I feel things.” – Shawn, 35:30
Deon Richmond on Wikipedia
S05E03, “Not Even Close… Encounters”:
Gurton Buster
“Well, last night I witnessed aliens abduct a fellow coworker…And I can prove it, thanks to the fine investigative work being down by psychic detectives Shawn Spencer and… Gurton Buster” – Shawn, 16:30
S05E04, “Chivalry Is Not Dead… But Someone Is”:
Chaz Bono
“Ah, there must be some sort of mistake, we’re not students. I’m psychic detective Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Chaz Bono.” – Shawn, 7:45
Chaz Bono on Wikipedia
S05E05, “Shawn and Gus in Drag (Racing)”:
Chocolate Einstein
“Yeah, what Chocolate Einstein just said.” – Shawn, 7:00
Albert Einstein on Wikipedia
M.C. Clap Yo Handz
“I’m Shawn, this is my associate M.C. Clap Yo Handz.” – Shawn, 10:40
Road Rash
“Look, these dudes are a tribe, alright? They’re very close-kit, which is why Road Rash and I will be hanging out with them tonight.” -Shawn, 23:30
Mellow Rush
“Mellow Rush” – Burton Guster, 23:30
Crankshaft
“That sounds like a crappy energy drink that gives you tongue hives. How about Crankshaft?” – Shawn, 24:30
Ms. Whiddleberry
“Okay, fine. Ms. Whiddleberry it is.” – Shawn, 24:00
“No, it’s just the opposite Whiddleberry.” – Tommy Nix, 25:50
“And Mrs. Whiddleberry, nothing personal.” – Tommy Nix, 40:45
G-Force
“Done. You ready to go, G-Force?” – Shawn, 24:10
Sher Black Lock
“All right, Sher Black Lock, if it wasn’t Gina, who was it?” – Shawn, 32:50
S05E06, “Viagra Falls”:
Slick Fingers
“You just proved my point, Slick Fingers.” – Boone, 7:30
Imhotep
He Cometh In Peace
“Hello, ma’am. My name is Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Imhotep, or He Cometh In Peace. Go ahead, show her your ‘Cometh In Peace’ face.” – Shawn, 10:00
Lawanda Page
“Well, the palm reader and that guy who looks like a young Lawanda Page decided to join us.” – Peters, “Lawanda Page, from Sanford and Son?” – Gus, “You’re damn right. You let that hair grow out and you’d look just like her.” – Boone, “You do have a little Lawanda in the eyes, Gus.” – Shawn, 11:15
Lawanda Page on Wikipedia
Floyd
“Only 45 minutes until the search, Floyd.” – Shawn (mocking old man Peters), “Good thing, Don. Early bird special just around the corner at Coco’s.” – Gus (mocking old man Boone), 13:00
“The good news is I got plenty of time to change into my club clothes, Floyd.” – Shawn (mocking old man Peters), “You don’t have club clothes, Don.” – Gus (mocking old man Boone), “Exactly.” – Shawn (still mocking old man Peters), 22:00
Control-Alt-Delete
“Hello there, my name is Shawn Spencer. I’m a psychic detective. This is my partner Control-Alt-Delete. The gentlemen on the flank are us in 30 years.” Shawn, 32:50
Gootsy
“See, I was talking to Peters and Boone. You guys should just stayed fired.” – Chief Vick, “Nah, Sis, without Rick and Gootsy here, Floyd and I’d still be in the park playing checkers.” – Peters, “Yeah, they were the kick in the pants we needed.” – Boone, 39:00
S05E07, “Ferry Tale”:
The Guster
“Heeeey, The Guster” – Dan Carter, 1:50
Black Al Gore
“Before you go Black Al Gore on me, you should know that your sea sickness patch fell off” – Shawn, 2:30
Al Gore on Wikipedia
S05E08, “Shawn 2.0”:
Jimmy Smitten
“Why would you consult Lassie?” – Gus “Because unlike you and Jules, he’s not smitten with this guy.” -Shawn, “I’m not smitten.” – Gus, “You’re Jimmy Smitten” – Shawn, 26:30
S05E09, “One, Maybe Two, Ways Out”:
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje
“No, Gus, this is our chance to Bourne it up. I’m Matt Damon, you’re Adewale Akinnuoy-Ag..Bjnan.” – Shawn, 30:00
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje on Wikipedia
S05E10, “Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part”:
Yasmine Bleeth
“Hello, I’m Shawn Spencer, psychic detective. This is Big Apple Mackintosh and my partner, Yasmine Bleeth.” – Shawn, 19:40
Yasmine Bleeth on Wikipedia
S05E11, “In Plain Fright”:
S05E12, “Dual Spires”:
Fredrick Douglas
“Something is off with this place, Shawn. People keep looking at me like I’m the first black man they’ve seen.” – Gus, “Come on, Gus. Don’t be absurd.” – Shawn, “Hey mister, are you Frederick Douglass?” – Little girl on bike, “Shawn, we need to get out of here.” – Gus, 2:00
Lodge Blackman
“Mr. and Mrs. Barker, I have a confession to make. I’m not just a cinnamon enthusiast. I’m also a Psychic Detective and this is my partner, Lodge Blackman.” – Shawn, 5:30
“Whoa, Jack. I’m Shawn. He’s Blackman.” – Shawn, 25:15
Jet Blackness
“We took a walk in the forest, and she told me she wanted to leave Dual Spires. And I said that was a mistake. And then, Jet Blackness.” – Jack Smith, “What does that mean?” – Gus, “It would be a great porn name for you.” – Shawn
S05E13, “We’d Like to Thank the Academy”:
(The) Black Goose
“Why can’t I be the Goose…Stop hypothetically typecasting me, Shawn…I want to be the Black Goose.” – Burton Guster, 16:20
Sundown
“Sundown, we’re in.” – Shawn, “The Goose, Shawn, the Black Goose.” – Burton Guster, 18:15
Mission Figs
“I’m Officer Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Mission Figs. We’re here to ask the tough questions.” – Shawn, 27:15
S05E14, “The Polarizing Express”:
Brown Snowman Gus
“Who am I talking to? Oh, Brown Snowman Gus, I think I’ll miss you most of all.” – Shawn, 22:30
Keith Sweat
“Pfft, Gus, don’t be Keith Sweat now. I’m sharp as a tack.” -Shawn, 30:00
Keith Sweat on Wikipedia
S05E15, “Dead Bear Walking”:
Radio Star
“Hello, I’m Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Radio Star. I’m afraid your video will kill him.” – Shawn, 3:40
Gusjay Gupta
“I have an expert witness…I present Gusjay Gupta, ” – Shawn, 25:20
Original G-String
Crowd Pleazah
“Well, the goal is to get buzzed in, right? So I’ve been known to use the pizza delivery routine. Gus has had much more success with the stripper-grams. His stage name is Original G-String, aka Crowd Pleazah. You’re up, String. Do your thing.” – Shawn, 30:45
Stoney Jackson
“Now, Lauren, please remember, if anyone ever makes a movie out of your documentary, I would like to be played by Cillian Murphy because it’s unexpected. It’s odd. People will talk. Obviously, Stoney Jackson will play Gus. Fyvush Finkel will play my father. Now he’s probably gonna want to do a lisp, but…that actually feels right to me.” – Shawn, 34:45
Stoney Jackson on Wikipedia
S05E16, “Yang 3 in 2D”:
Don Cheadle Junior
“Very good, Don Cheadle Junior.” – Yin, 35:00
Don Cheadle on Wikipedia
