Categories
Better Is Possible Lists Some Thoughts About

If you found this page by name searching yourself you have to send me money

Pay the Ego Troll. Venmo is @mikeeschmee.

Dollar amount is based on my (stupid) guess of how much money you have and uniqueness of the name, roughly.

(#) in the parenthesis indicate how many people have payed the Ego Troll.

() Karen Hunter – $5

() James Smith – $1

() James Woods – $1,000

() Jason Owens – $5

() Ray Blanchette – $500

() Maria Rodriguez – $1

() Elon Musk – $1,000,000

() Jayson Boebert – $50

() Kara Swisher – $1,000

() Joseph Morgan – $50

() James Jones – $3

() Bret Stephens – $500

() Gwyneth Paltrow – $1,000

() Michael Schmidt – $5

() Tim Pool – $1,000

() John Darnielle – $25

() Aaron Taylor-Johnson – $400

() Jeff Tiedrich – $25

() Kimberly Smith – $1

() Tom Burke – $3

() Ted Burns – $3

() Bradley Cooper – $1,000

() John Smith – $0.50

Categories
Some Thoughts About What To Watch

Series 6 of Slow Horses Greenlit by Apple TV+ (And Series 5 Teaser)

I can’t get enough of Slow Horses and very happy they have Series 5 already shot. Check out the Teaser from the end of Series 4. We are still waiting to get the release dating. Based on release of previous seasons, we are looking at 8-10 months. So possibly June-August of 2025.

*Buy the Slow Horse Novels on Amazon.com*


And in continuing good news for us SlowHeads, Series 6 has been greenlit by AppleTV+.

Apple TV+ is staying with the spies of Slough House for a sixth season.

Hit Gary Oldman starrer Slow Horses has been re-upped again upon the conclusion of Season 4 on the streaming platform. A fifth season was ordered back in January.

No word yet on Series 7 but I’d say it’s likely to happen given the slow but recent hype for the Slough House gang.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Horses


Categories
Some Thoughts About

How To Fix Your Address and Pin Location For Amazon When They Deliver To Wrong Address

I recently had an Amazon package delivered to the wrong address, and then two days later had to run half a mile to catch the driver about to put a package multiple blocks away from my address.

The odd thing though was that in the Delivery Tracking, it showed my Address as correct, but the pin on the map was incorrect.

After some digging with Bing (I get $10 in Amazon gift cards a month using Bing!), I found numerous other accounts of people having similar issues, and it took some time to find a solution that works. Thankfully one guy figured out the solution. Below is how to reset your Address Pin.

The Problem: Amazon Address shows as correct but the Pin is in the wrong position, and packages are being delivered to that pin.

The Solution:

These instructions should work for both Desktop and Mobile App.

* Go to your Account page: https://www.amazon.com/gp/css/homepage.html

* Click on “Devices” under Digital content and devices.

* Then click on Preferences.

* Click Change on the Country/Region Settings.

* In the popup box use the drop down to choose the correct address.

And that should do it!

If you go back to a recent Order and click on “Track Package” you should see the pin back in the correct position of your address. It worked for me!


Categories
New Fast Food and Deals Some Thoughts About What To Buy

How To Enter The Microsoft Rewards $1,000,000 Sweepstakes

I recently wrote about how I make roughly $10 in Amazon Gift cards by using the Microsoft Rewards system. Mostly getting those points via searching things on Bing. It’s an easy habit and the few extra bones each month is nice.

Often times there are Sweepstakes where you can use your Points to win $5k or $10k even but the last few months of 2024 they are upping the game and having a $1,000,000 Sweepstakes. A million bucks. A million smack-a-roonies.

One lucky winner gets $1,000,000 (USD) plus 10 winners receive $10,000 (USD).

You can get up to 200 entries, by doing various tasks in Bing/Microsoft, or by purchasing some products(boo). Below are some of the ways you can get entries.

* Sign up for Microsoft Rewards here! *

* Learn more about the $1,000,000 Sweepstakes here! *

The ways to earn entries into The Microsoft Rewards Million Dollar Sweepstakes

* Install the Bing app on your mobile device and complete 1 search

* Add the Microsoft rewards extension to your browser

* Set Bing as your default browser on mobile and desktop

* Install Edge on your mobile device and do a search

* Get people to signup for Microsoft rewards

* Spend $25 in the Microsoft Store

* Complete streaks inside Microsoft Rewards

* Purchase Xbox CAll of Duty Warzone Points.

Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About What To Watch

Watching London Bus Streams and Videos On YouTube Is My New Favorite Background Noise

I’ve never been Across The Pond, to the land of “chips” and “mates” and Lords and Queens. But I have previously admitted my love and romanticism of London and the UK, largely because of their TV Shows (Series). I also need having TV shows, and other noise-y stuff on in the background, as I work or paint or clean or whatever.

Something the YouTube algorithm served me up a few months ago has been life changing. London bus videos.

As a lover of buses and cities, it has been incredibly soothing and interesting watching the city of London from the top of a Double Decker bus. Seeing the communities, parks, people of London living their lives. And compared to America (Chicago), significantly less cars and significantly more density and public transportation. I can’t get enough.

My two current favorites are Wanderizm and Kidney Beans Global Check them out both below!


Wanderizm

https://www.youtube.com/@Wanderizm

Wanderizm shares a few videos a week, and they are really high quality. I also like at the beginning each video he shows the date and time, temperature, and the route of the bus. A small thing that adds a lot of context to the videos. Here are two recent videos I have enjoyed.

London Route 189 – From Brent Cross to Marble Arch in Central London 🚌 (A night route!)

London Bus Ride, Route 27 from Camden to Hammersmith Point-of-view 🚌


Kidney Beans Global

https://www.youtube.com/@kidneybeansglobal

They update every week or so with new videos. They also have a Live Stream of their videos which is good to pop into from time to time. Check out the live stream and another of the good routes they have up.

Live London Bus Stream

London Bus 57 🎾 Wimbledon Station To Streatham Hill 🎾 Wimbledon 2024 Bus Ride

Be sure to give them both a Subscribe. Happy Bus Watching.



Categories
Better Is Possible Some Thoughts About What's In A Number

How To Frugally Manage Your Monthly Subscriptions In 5 Easy Steps

How many streaming services are you paying for? How much a month do they add up to?

And that likely doesn’t even include what you are paying for high-speed internet! And commercials now too! Boo! They have fully Cable-ized streaming services.

It sucks and you likely are paying for some you aren’t even using, or if you are, maybe just few times a year when a new season of a good show comes out every 1 to 2 years.

Here’s my trick to minimize the money you are giving to these ghouls.

Quick note before we get into the step by step guide: Some of these platforms/services have yearly options, and these can have discounts compared to paying by month. If you know it’s a platform you use frequently, it may be better option to go the yearly route.


Step 1: Unsubscribe from every service with a monthly fee.

Spotify. Washington Post. Netflix. HBO Max. Uber Gold. Tinder. ESPN+. Disney+. Every Patreon. Everything.

You want to start with a clean slate. Go through all of your cards/accounts/etc. and make a list of the monthly payments that are coming through for these different services. Then spend the 20 to 60 to 120 minutes going through, logging in, and unsubscribing/cancelling future payments.


Step 2: Take Notes On All The Services

From the list you made above make notes of their monthly cost (or discounts for yearly), and realistically how much you enjoy/need them. Is it a “must have”? Did you forget you even had been paying for it? Do others use your login info? etc.


Step 3: Think of how you can substitute some of these services.

Can you share logins with others? Have you been looking for motivation to start reading again? Maybe do a daily walk? Start-up that COVID hobby again that fell off?

Do you have a local library you can easily use? You can borrow not only books, but DVDs/Blu-Rays! Some will even have free streaming services you can get access to, such as Hoopla or Kanopy.


Step 4: As you need, start resubscribing to the services when you need them

Absolutely can’t make it without your nightly, 17th time through rewatch of F.R.I.E.N.D.S? Go for it girl.

Commute and need your pocasts ad-free, or just want to support them because they make 45 minutes each morning bearable? Right on. Slap that Join button on Patreon.

You’ll notice you will not immediately resubscribe to everything. But you’ll slowly build at least some of your previous subscriptions.


Step 5: As soon as you resubscribe to a service, UNSUBSCRIBE

This is a crucial step. Your subscription will last for the month, and then next month you repeat Step 4. There could be some services you subscribe to immediately, some you wait a month or two, or some you never subscribe to again!


Using this method I’ve successfully cut back my monthly subscriptions by ~75%, and I’m doing just fine (arguable, mike). Give it a try. Save some money. Touch some grass. Read some books.

Find this helpful? Consider sharing it with friends, or posting it on social media!


Categories
Some Thoughts About

How I Make About $10 Per Month In Free Amazon Gift Cards

The short of it is: by using Bing Search!

Microsoft has a Rewards program, where you get points if you do things like use Bing as a search engine, buy Xbox games, or purchase items in the Microsoft Store.

I don’t game much these days, and don’t use any Microsoft products, so I don’t get any points via those avenues. All the points I do get it are from using Bing Search. I set it as my defaults for my browsers, and also have the Bing app on my phone.

Many of these points I get each day are from me just using the internet as I normally would, but I’ll also spend a few minutes each day doing additional searches, to hit the maximum points I can get for the day. There are also bonus points you can get based on frequnecy, searching specific topics, or doing a poll/quiz.

With these searches I get points to trade them in for roughly $10 a month in Amazon gift cards.

You can trade the points in for many things including an actual Xbox(!), sweepstakes, food gift cards, or even give to charity.

Examples of options to redeem your Microsoft Reward points.

Categories
Better Is Possible Lists Some Thoughts About

How To Check Your Voter Registration And How To Register To Vote In Every State – Direct Links To Your State’s .gov Website

Scroll down to your state. All links go directly to your state’s .gov website with Voter Registration Lookup and How To Register information.

Alabama

Alaska

Arizona

Arkansas

California

Colorado

Connecticut

Delaware

Florida

Georgia

Hawaii

Idaho

Illinois

Indiana

Iowa

Kansas

Kentucky

Louisiana

Maine

Maryland

Massachusetts

Michigan

Minnesota

Mississippi

Missouri

Montana

Nebraska

Nevada

New Hampshire

New Jersey

New Mexico

New York

North Carolina

North Dakota

Ohio

Oklahoma

Oregon

Pennsylvania

Rhode Island

South Carolina

South Dakota

Tennessee

Texas

Utah

Vermont

Virginia

Washington

West Virginia

Wisconsin

Wyoming


Categories
Better Is Possible Some Thoughts About

How To Use The Bathroom Door When You Live With Others

Do you have roommates? Do you live with a family?

Well do you know how to properly use a bathroom door? No? Let me teach you.

If you’re having trouble using the bathroom door here are the agreed upon rules, by pretty much everyone. 

  • When you go into an empty bathroom close the door behind you. If there is a lock, lock the door. 
  • When you leave the bathroom, do not close the door all the way.
  • If you need to get into the bathroom and the door is closed, knock before you attempt to go into the bathroom:
    • If you hear someone, do not go in
    • If you don’t hear anyone cautiously open the door

It’s that simple! Anyone can do follow them. Happy pooping everyone!


Categories
Some Thoughts About

How To Easily Mass Export Data Out of Legacy Google Analytics

Need help implementing, managing, understanding, or creating dashboards for website traffic data from Google Analytics? I have 13 years experience with Google Analytics, Google Tag Manager, and Google’s Looker Studio. Email me with questions or freelance opportunities. 🙂 mikeeschmee at gmail

Google Analytics says they will be deleting all old reporting for the free users on the Legacy Google Analytics starting July 1st, 2024! If you want to have any of this data for reference, archives, etc. there is a semi-easy way to export this data to Excel files/Google Sheets. These can be basic traffic by month for the last ten years, or hyper specific with multiple dimentions/metrics invovled.

See the 6 easy steps below!

Reference documentation: https://developers.google.com/analytics/solutions/google-analytics-spreadsheet-add-on

Step 1: Open up Sheets, and Add the Extension to your workbook. Go to Extensions>Add-ons>Get add-ons. Once that opens, search “google” and install the add-on called “Google Analytics”.


Step 2: You will now have the Google Analytics option under Extensions. Click Create new report.


Step 3: Create your new report. Name it, select the correct View, the metrics and dimensions. Then click Create Report.


Step 4: This will create a new sheet, with the configuration options. These can be manually updated, including: Dates, Order, Filters, and Limits. You can also mass run the same report across many different views. Once you have it configured, copy and past everything under View ID, and then update rows 2 and 3 with that Views details.

I’ve found the Ordering specifically to be useful. If you wanted to see top pageviews for example, you’d use “-ga:pageviews” to show the top 1,000 pages by pageview. See full documentation here: https://developers.google.com/analytics/solutions/google-analytics-spreadsheet-add-on


Step 5: Run the report.


Step 6: View your reporting! Each column you have set in the configuration sheet, will be a separate sheet. I’ve run these up to like 75 different columns, and they can go sometimes slow, but as long as it’s not too large of a request, like 1,000 rows for each column, it should complete. I’ve had some with each report had 500 rows of data that stopped midway. If you then delete the columns that did finish, you can re-run the report and it will get the others.


And that’s it! I was happy to find this when I was trying to save some basic data for those 75 sites noted above, and this made it very quick.

Once I got the first one setup for all the sites, I was able to quickly edit the manual configuration with copy/paste of each new report I wanted. Thanks, bye!

Need help implementing, managing, understanding, or creating dashboards for website traffic data from Google Analytics? I have 13 years experience with Google Analytics, Google Tag Manager, and Google’s Looker Studio. Email me with questions or freelance opportunities. 🙂 mikeeschmee at gmail

Categories
Some Thoughts About

How To Cook Frozen White Castle Cheeseburgers In The Oven

My microwave recently died. I thought it would be fun to live without one for awhile. So far it has been going A-okay. Fine. Not that much of a disturbance. Biggest problem has been melting coconut butter, and also reheating coffee. Both are easy enough with a stove-top pan, and just drinking cold coffee, respectively.

BUT I recently purchased these frozen White Castle Cheeseburgers and it came as a surprise that the only instructions on the box are for the microwave.

As I don’t have one, and I wanted to eat these shitty, cheesy, sliders I had to cook in-the-oven based only on my wits and frozen meal experience (which is sadly pretty extensive).

Here’s what I did:

  1. Oven at 350 Degrees F. Put in for 5 minutes. When I took them out the breading was starting to get semi-crisp, however the middle was still quite frozen. I cut them all in half, flipped, re-spread out on the cookie sheet, and threw in the same oven for another 3 minutes.
  2. At that point the middle of the entire half-cheeseburgers was melted and non-frozen.
  3. I then plated, and ate them. And you know what…delicious. Crispy buns, and melted cheese insides. So good. Eat this trash.

(I am not a doctor, nor a chef, nor an expert on food-borne illnesses. Cook in the oven at your own risk.)

Enjoy!!


Categories
Some Thoughts About

How To Program Your LG Magic TV Universal Remote

Gotta watch your stories. I get it. I’m watching one of my stories right now. Need help with your LG Magic Remote that came when you purchased your LG TV? See below!


Battery

Installing The Batteries

*Please read this manual carefully.

*Press the top of the battery cover, slide it back, and lift the cover as shown below.

*To replace batteries, open the battery cover, replace alkaline batteries (1.5 V, AA) matching and ends to the label inside the compartment, and close the battery cover. Be sure to point the remote control at the remote control sensor on the TV.

*To remove the batteries, perform the installation actions in reverse. Don’t mix old or used batteries with new ones. Close the cover securely.

*Open the battery cover to find the label.

Battery Precautions

*After replacement of the batteries, pair the remote control and use it in accordance with user manual.

*If the unit does not operate after replacement of batteries, reattempt pairing in accordance with the user manual.

*If the remote controller is not being used for prolonged period of time, remove the batteries from the unit.

*Do not dismantle or expose the batteries to heat.

*Do not drop or exert extreme impact on the batteries. This may cause the case to be damaged.

*Do not immerse the batteries in water.

*There is danger of explosion if batteries are inserted incorrectly.

*Properly dispose of used batteries.

*Failure to match the correct polarities of the battery may cause the battery to burst or leak, resulting in fire, personal injury, or ambient pollution.


How To Use

How to register (pair) or deregister (unpair)

To use the Magic Remote, first pair it with your TV.

*Put batteries into the Magic Remote and turn the TV on.

*Point the Magic Remote at your TV and press the Wheel
(OK) on the remote control.
*If the TV fails to register the Magic Remote, try again after
turning the TV off and back on.

How to deregister (unpair) the Magic Remote

1. Press and hold the (HOME) and BACK buttons at the same time for five seconds, to unpair the Magic Remote with your TV.

2. Pressing and holding the GUIDE button will let you cancel and re-register Magic Remote at once.

*Shake the Magic Remote slightly to the right and left or press (HOME), (INPUT), or (Q. Settings) buttons to make the pointer appear on the screen. (In some TV models, the pointer will appear when you turn the Wheel (OK) button.)

*If the pointer has not been used for a certain period of time or Magic Remote is placed on a flat surface, then the pointer will disappear.

*If the pointer is not responding smoothly, you can reset the pointer by moving it to the edge of the screen.

*The Magic Remote depletes batteries faster than a normal remote due to the additional features.


Find the Full PDF here:

AN-MR18BA_ENG

Youtube Videos

Register and Deregister the remote to your TV:

A full breakdown of how to use the LG Magic Remote:

Categories
Some Thoughts About

The Amtrak United States Map

OPAD #25 – Feb 27, 2024

I’m taking my 8th(?) Amtrak trip in a couple of weeks, and I can’t get over how much easier and more relaxing it is vs. driving or flying. Check out the map below and if you have any upcoming trips, consider the train!

https://www.amtrak.com/home.html

Click image or link below for larger map.

https://www.bblloobb.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/amtrak-map-scaled.jpg
Categories
Famous Internet Posts Some Thoughts About

From The Archives: Album Review for The Zac Brown Band – The Foundation (2008), from musicreviewsforidiots.com

OPAD #23 – Feb 25, 2024

Back in 2009/2010 I wanted to start a website, and despite having limited love or knowledge of music, I decided it would be smart to start a music blog with a friend. I was recently going through the Internet Archive for the site and read a couple of the posts/reviews. Expecting to be completely mortified, I was only partially mortified. I think this joke review of an album I never actually listened to, wasn’t that bad (but not great ha)? Or my writing/humor just continues to be as bad as this, and I don’t know the difference. Anyways, see the review below!

And check out that background of the site in the featured image. I still think it was cool as hell. (I did not make it)


The Zac Brown Band – The Foundation

Posted April 1, 2010 by Mike E Schmee.

It has happened. I have turned to the Dark Side. I like LOVE a country album. One that isn’t even J. Cash, because we all know he isn’t actually country anyway.

I decided to give the Zac Brown Band’s first full length album The Foundation a chance since they won a Grammy for Best New Artist. Oh how the Grammy Awards were spot on again. This album gives a whole new meaning to country with lyrics like, “Not a worry in the world/A cold beer in my hand” from Toes and “You know I like my chicken fried/A cold beer on a Friday night/A pair of jeans that fit just right/And the radio up” from the awesome track, “Chicken Fried”.

The ZBB is reinventing the genre with mind blowing lyrics about lost love, drinking, starry nights, and chickens. I’m not shitting you, chickens: “Sic ‘em on a chicken/And watch them feathers fly”. They are also doing this thing with their voices and guitars that just sounds so, I don’t know, I guess I would call it twangy? It takes a little getting used to but damn if it doesn’t make you want to get up and start line dancing.

If you’re getting sick of your favorites like Garth Brooks, Taylor Swift, and all of those other honky tonk greats I would open up your truck windows, park in a field, crack open a fresh case, throw in one of those tasty wintergreen dips and crank some ZBB.

* Buy The Foundation here from Amazon.com *

Disclaimer: This should not be taken seriously. Look at the date. I did not even listen to the album for fear of suicide. Reading the lyrics was painful enough.


Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About

7 Random Bad Links

OPAD #20 – Feb 22, 2024

In a follow up to the Good Link list I did last week, here are 7 Bad Links. Only 7 because this got depressing quick. Enjoy!

  1. [“AI” Bullshit] Reddit reportedly signed a multi-million content licensing deal with an AI company, Engadget, https://www.engadget.com/reddit-reportedly-signed-a-multi-million-content-licensing-deal-with-an-ai-company-124516009.html
  2. [Trans] The War on Transgender Kids Took the Life of Nex Benedict, The Nation, https://www.thenation.com/article/society/nex-benedict-oklahoma-war-transgender-kids/
  3. [Climate] ‘They lied’: plastics producers deceived public about recycling, report reveals, The Guardian, https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/feb/15/recycling-plastics-producers-report
  4. [Lol] Nike And Fanatics’ Innovative MLB Uniforms Leave Baseball Players With Unintentional Diapers, The Defector, https://defector.com/nike-and-fanatics-innovative-mlb-uniforms-leave-baseball-players-with-unintentional-diapers
  5. [Police State/Bad Tech] Here Are the Secret Locations of ShotSpotter Gunfire Sensors, Wired, https://www.wired.com/story/shotspotter-secret-sensor-locations-leak
  6. [“AI” Bullshit] Google tests removing the News tab from search results, Nieman Labs, https://www.niemanlab.org/2024/02/why-is-the-news-tab-missing-from-some-google-search-results/
  7. [Genocide] US Media’s Gaza Coverage Hits Dismal New Low, The Majority Report, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjXMzBNQpBQ

Categories
Some Thoughts About

What Do Brussel Sprouts On The Stalk Look Like?

OPAD #18 – Feb 20, 2024

Good question! I was watching a recent episode of Cook’s Country that was doing a brussel sprout dish, and they showed a full stalk of them (they said you can buy at the store like that?!). I was shocked.

Please see brussel sprouts in all their stalk-y goodness.

Categories
Some Thoughts About

Turns Out Doing A Post A Day Takes A Lot Of Work

OPAD #16 – Feb 18, 2024

This counts.

Categories
Better Is Possible Lists Some Thoughts About What To Watch

5 Recent Clips Of The Majority Report Making Fun Of Tim Pool

OPAD #15 – Feb 17, 2024

The Majority Report (w/ Sam Seder) (and w/ Emma Vigeland) dunking on Tim Pool weekly has been very funny.

Little balding beanie man is losing it, and who better to narrate his demise. Check out these five(5) recent clips from the MR crew.

Tim Pool FURIOUS About Kristen Stewart’s ‘Gayest’ Photoshoot

This one was very funny. A balding man who wears a hat all the time commenting on another persons appearance. Can’t beat it.


“The Beanie’s About To Pop”: Tim Heidecker Explains Tim Pool’s REALLY Crappy Episode

Tim Heidecker and Sam Seder just roasting Tim Pool for 30 minutes.


TIM POOL IS LOSING IT

A really weird public spat about something clearly greater than what we are seeing. It’s watching mommy and daddy argue about something mundane in front of your friend, six months before they decide to get a divorce, except you’d be okay if any of those three fell off a cliff.


Tim Pool Declares War On ‘Ladies Night’

A solid 13 minutes of Tim being roasted. Ah incels.


Tim Pool’s Hatred Of Women Is Equal To His Ignorance Of Them

He’s just so fucking dumb, it hurts.


Categories
Some Thoughts About

Chapter Five Of The Grapes Of Wrath by John Steinbeck

OPAD #14 – Feb 16, 2024

The Grapes of Wrath is a great book that you should read if you haven’t before. Every time I think about “good” people doing objectively morally bankrupt things for institutions I think of this chapter and “The Monster”.

Read the 3rd paragraph below to get the gist.

THE OWNERS OF THE land came onto the land, or more often a spokesman for the owners came.They came in closed cars, and they felt the dry earth with their fingers, and sometimes they drove big earth augers into the ground for soil tests. The tenants, from their sun-beaten dooryards, watched uneasily when the closed cars drove along the fields. And at last the owner men drove into the dooryards and sat in their cars to talk out of the windows.The tenant men stood beside the cars for a while, and then squatted on their hams and found sticks with which to mark the dust.

In the open doors the women stood looking out, and behind them the children—corn-headed children, with wide eyes, one bare foot on top of the other bare foot, and the toes working. The women and the children watched their men talking to the owner men. They were silent.

Some of the owner men were kind because they hated what they had to do, and some of them were angry because they hated to be cruel, and some of them were cold because they had long ago found that one could not be an owner unless one were cold.And all of them were caught in something larger than themselves. Some of them hated the mathematics that drove them, and some were afraid, and some worshiped the mathematics because it provided a refuge from thought and from feeling. If a bank or a finance company owned the land, the owner man said, The Bank—or the Company—needs—wants—insists—must have—as though the Bank or the Company were a monster, with thought and feeling, which had ensnared them. These last would take no responsibility for the banks or the companies because they were men and slaves, while the banks were machines and masters all at the same time.Some of the owner men were a little proud to be slaves to such cold and powerful masters. The owner men sat in the cars and explained. You know the land is poor. You’ve scrabbled at it long enough, God knows.

The squatting tenant men nodded and wondered and drew figures in the dust, and yes, they knew, God knows. If the dust only wouldn’t fly. If the top would only stay on the soil, it might not be so bad.

The owner men went on leading to their point: You know the land’s getting poorer. You know what cotton does to the land; robs it, sucks all the blood out of it.

The squatters nodded—they knew, God knew. If they could only rotate the crops they might pump blood back into the land.

Well, it’s too late. And the owner men explained the workings and the thinkings of the monster that was stronger than they were. A man can hold land if he can just eat and pay taxes; he can do that.

Yes, he can do that until his crops fail one day and he has to borrow money from the bank. But—you see, a bank or a company can’t do that, because those creatures don’t breathe air, don’t eat side-meat. They breathe profits; they eat the interest on money. If they don’t get it, they die the way you die without air, without side-meat. It is a sad thing, but it is so. It is just so.

The squatting men raised their eyes to understand. Can’t we just hang on? Maybe the next year will be a good year.God knows how much cotton next year. And with all the wars—God knows what price cotton will bring. Don’t they make explosives out of cotton? And uniforms? Get enough wars and cotton’ll hit the ceiling. Next year, maybe. They looked up questioningly.

We can’t depend on it. The bank—the monster has to have profits all the time. It can’t wait. It’ll die. No, taxes go on. When the monster stops growing, it dies. It can’t stay one size.

Soft fingers began to tap the sill of the car window, and hard fingers tightened on the restless drawing sticks. In the doorways of the sun-beaten tenant houses, women sighed and then shifted feet so that the one that had been down was now on top, and the toes working. Dogs came sniffing near the owner cars and wetted on all four tires one after another. And chickens lay in the sunny dust and fluffed their feathers to get the cleansing dust down to the skin. In the little sties the pigs grunted inquiringly over the muddy remnants of the slops.

The squatting men looked down again. What do you want us to do? We can’t take less share of the crop—we’re half starved now. The kids are hungry all the time. We got no clothes, torn an’ ragged. If all the neighbors weren’t the same, we’d be ashamed to go to meeting.

And at last the owner men came to the point. The tenant system won’t work any more. One man on a tractor can take the place of twelve or fourteen families.Pay him a wage and take all the crop. We have to do it. We don’t like to do it. But the monster’s sick. Something’s happened to the monster.

But you’ll kill the land with cotton.

We know. We’ve got to take cotton quick before the land dies. Then we’ll sell the land. Lots of families in the East would like to own a piece of land.

The tenant men looked up alarmed. But what’ll happen to us? How’ll we eat?

You’ll have to get off the land. The plows’ll go through the dooryard.

And now the squatting men stood up angrily. Grampa took up the land, and he had to kill the Indians and drive them away. And Pa was born here, and he killed weeds and snakes. Then a bad year came and he had to borrow a little money. An’ we was born here. There in the door our children born here. And Pa had to borrow money. The bank

owned the land then, but we stayed and we got a little bit of what we raised.

We know that—all that. It’s not us, it’s the bank

. A bank isn’t like a man. Or an owner with fifty thousand acres, he isn’t like a man either. That’s the monster.

Sure, cried the tenant men, but it’s our land. We measured it and broke it up. We were born on it, and we got killed on it, died on it. Even if it’s no good, it’s still ours. That’s what makes it ours—being born on it, working it, dying on it. That makes ownership, not a paper with numbers on it.

We’re sorry. It’s not us. It’s the monster. The bank

isn’t like a man.

Yes, but the bank

is only made of men.

No, you’re wrong there—quite wrong there. The bank

is something else than men. It happens that every man in a bank hates what the bank does, and yet the bank does it. The bank is something more than men, I tell you. It’s the monster. Men made it, but they can’t control it.

The tenants cried, Grampa killed Indians, Pa killed snakes for the land. Maybe we can kill banks—they’re worse than Indians and snakes. Maybe we got to fight to keep our land, like Pa and Grampa did.

And now the owner men grew angry. You’ll have to go. But it’s ours, the tenant men cried. WeNo. The bank

, the monster owns it. You’ll have to go. We’ll get our guns, like Grampa when the Indians came. What then? Well—first the sheriff, and then the troops. You’ll be stealing if you try to stay, you’ll be murderers if you kill to stay. The monster isn’t men, but it can make men do what it wants. But if we go, where’ll we go? How’ll we go? We got no money. We’re sorry, said the owner men. The bank, the fifty-thousand-acre owner can’t be responsible. You’re on land that isn’t yours. Once over the line maybe you can pick cotton in the fall. Maybe you can go on relief. Why don’t you go on west to California? There’s work there, and it never gets cold. Why, you can reach out anywhere and pick an orange. Why, there’s always some kind of crop to work in. Why don’t you go there? And the owner men started their cars and rolled away.

The tenant men squatted down on their hams again to mark the dust with a stick, to figure, to wonder. Their sunburned faces were dark, and their sun-whipped eyes were light. The women moved cautiously out of the doorways toward their men, and the children crept behind the women, cautiously, ready to run. The bigger boys squatted beside their fathers, because that made them men. After a time the women asked, What did he want?

And the men looked up for a second, and the smolder of pain was in their eyes. We got to get off. A tractor and a superintendent. Like factories.

Where’ll we go? the women asked.

We don’t know. We don’t know.

And the women went quickly, quietly back into the houses and herded the children ahead of them. They knew that a man so hurt and so perplexed may turn in anger, even on people he loves. They left the men alone to figure and to wonder in the dust.

After a time perhaps the tenant man looked about—at the pump put in ten years ago, with a goose-neck handle and iron flowers

on the spout, at the chopping block where a thousand chickens had been killed, at the hand plow lying in the shed, and the patent crib hanging in the rafters over it.

The children crowded about the women in the houses. What we going to do, Ma? Where we going to go?

The women said, We don’t know, yet. Go out and play. But don’t go near your father. He might whale you if you go near him. And the women went on with the work, but all the time they watched the men squatting in the dust—perplexed and figuring.

THE TRACTORS came over the roads and into the fields, great crawlers moving like insects, having the incredible strength of insects. They crawled over the ground, laying the track and rolling on it and picking it up. Diesel tractors, puttering while they stood idle; they thundered when they moved, and then settled down to a droning roar. Snubnosed monsters, raising the dust and sticking their snouts into it, straight down the country, across the country, through fences, through dooryards, in and out of gullies in straight lines. They did not run on the ground, but on their own roadbeds. They ignored hills and gulches, water courses

, fences, houses.

The man sitting in the iron seat did not look like a man; gloved, goggled, rubber dust mask over nose and mouth, he was a part of the monster, a robot in the seat. The thunder of the cylinders sounded through the country, became one with the air and the earth, so that earth and air muttered in sympathetic vibration. The driver could not control it—straight across country it went, cutting through a dozen farms and straight back. A twitch at the controls could swerve the cat’, but the driver’s hands could not twitch because the monster that built the tractors, the monster that sent the tractor out, had somehow got into the driver’s hands, into his brain and muscle, had goggled him and muzzled him—goggled his mind, muzzled his speech, goggled his perception, muzzled his protest. He could not see the land as it was, he could not smell the land as it smelled; his feet did not stamp the clods or feel the warmth and power

of the earth. He sat in an iron seat and stepped on iron pedals. He could not cheer or beat or curse or encourage the extension of his power, and because of this he could not cheer or whip or curse or encourage himself. He did not know or own or trust or beseech the land. If a seed dropped did not germinate, it was nothing. If the young thrusting plant withered in drought or drowned in a flood of rain, it was no more to the driver than to the tractor.

He loved the land no more than the bank

loved the land. He could admire the tractor—its machined surfaces, its surge of power, the roar of its detonating cylinders; but it was not his tractor. Behind the tractor rolled the shining disks, cutting the earth with blades not plowing but surgery, pushing the cut earth to the right where the second row of disks cut it and pushed it to the left; slicing blades shining, polished by the cut earth. And pulled behind the disks, the harrows combing with iron teeth so that the little clods broke up and the earth lay smooth. Behind the harrows, the long seeders—twelve curved iron penes erected in the foundry, orgasms set by gears, raping methodically, raping without passion. The driver sat in his iron seat and he was proud of the straight lines he did not will, proud of the tractor he did not own or love, proud of the power he could not control. And when that crop grew, and was harvested, no man had crumbled a hot clod in his fingers and let the earth sift past his fingertips. No man had touched the seed, or lusted for the growth. Men ate what they had not raised, had no connection with the bread.The land bore under iron, and under iron gradually died; for it was not loved or hated, it had no prayers or curses.

At noon the tractor driver stopped sometimes near a tenant house and opened his lunch: sandwiches wrapped in waxed paper, white bread, pickle, cheese, Spam, a piece of pie branded like an engine part. He ate without relish. And tenants not yet moved away came out to see him, looked curiously while the goggles were taken off, and the rubber dust mask, leaving white circles around the eyes and a large white circle around nose and mouth. The exhaust of the tractor puttered on, for fuel is so cheap it is more efficient to leave the engine running than to heat the Diesel nose for a new start

. Curious children crowded close, ragged children who ate their fried dough as they watched. They watched hungrily the unwrapping of the sandwiches, and their hunger-sharpened noses smelled the pickle, cheese, and Spam. They didn’t speak to the driver. They watched his hand as it carried food to his mouth. They did not watch him chewing; their eyes followed the hand that held the sandwich. After a while the tenant who could not leave the place came out and squatted in the shade beside the tractor.

“Why, you’re Joe Davis’s boy!”

“Sure,” the driver said.

“Well, what you doing this kind of work for—against your own people?”

“Three dollars a day. I got damn sick of creeping for my dinner—and not getting it. I got a wife and kids. We got to eat. Three dollars a day, and it comes every day.”

“That’s right,” the tenant said. “But for your three dollars a day fifteen or twenty families can’t eat at all. Nearly a hundred people have to go out and wander on the roads for your three dollars a day. Is that right?”

And the driver said, “Can’t think of that. Got to think of my own kids. Three dollars a day, and it comes every day. Times are changing, mister, don’t you know? Can’t make a living on the land unless you’ve got two, five, ten thousand acres and a tractor. Crop land isn’t for little guys like us any more. You don’t kick up a howl because you can’t make Fords, or because you’re not the telephone company. Well, crops are like that now. Nothing to do about it. You try to get three dollars a day someplace. That’s the only way.”

The tenant pondered. “Funny thing how it is. If a man owns a little property, that property is him, it’s part of him, and it’s like him. If he owns property only so he can walk on it and handle it and be sad when it isn’t doing well, and feel fine when the rain falls on it, that property is him, and some way he’s bigger because he owns it. Even if he isn’t successful he’s big with his property. That is so.”

And the tenant pondered more. “But let a man get property he doesn’t see, or can’t take time to get his fingers in, or can’t be there to walk on it—why, then the property is the man. He can’t do what he wants, he can’t think what he wants. The property is the man, stronger than he is. And he is small, not big. Only his possessions are big and he’s the servant of his property. That is so, too.”

The driver munched the branded pie and threw the crust away. “Times are changed, don’t you know? Thinking about stuff like that don’t feed the kids. Get your three dollars a day, feed your kids. You got no call to worry about anybody’s kids but your own. You get a reputation for talking like that, and you’ll never get three dollars a day. Big shots won’t give you three dollars a day if you worry about anything but your three dollars a day.”

“Nearly a hundred people on the road for your three dollars. Where will we go?”

“And that reminds me,” the driver said, “you better get out soon.

I’m going through the dooryard after dinner.”

“You filled in the well this morning.”

“I know. Had to keep the line straight. But I’m going through the dooryard after dinner. Got to keep the lines straight. And—well, you know Joe Davis, my old man, so I’ll tell you this. I got orders wherever there’s a family not moved out—if I have an accident—you know, get too close and cave the house in a little—well, I might get a couple of dollars. And my youngest kid never had no shoes yet.”

“I built it with my hands. Straightened old nails to put the sheathing on. Rafters are wired to the stringers with baling wire. It’s mine. I built it. You bump it down—I’ll be in the window with a rifle. You even come too close and I’ll pot you like a rabbit.”

“It’s not me. There’s nothing I can do. I’ll lose my job if I don’t do it. And look—suppose you kill me? They’ll just hang you, but long before you’re hung there’ll be another guy on the tractor, and he’ll bump the house down. You’re not killing the right guy.”

“That’s so,” the tenant said. “Who gave you orders? I’ll go after him. He’s the one to kill.”

“You’re wrong. He got his orders from the bank. The bank told him, ‘Clear those people out or it’s your job.’”

“Well, there’s a president of the bank. There’s a board of directors. I’ll fill up the magazine of the rifle and go into the bank.”

The driver said, “Fellow was telling me the bank gets orders from the East. The orders were, ’Make the land show profit or we’ll close you up.’”

“But where does it stop? Who can we shoot? I don’t aim to starve to death before I kill the man that’s starving me.”

“I don’t know. Maybe there’s nobody to shoot. Maybe the thing isn’t men at all. Maybe like you said, the property’s doing it. Anyway I told you my orders.”

“I got to figure,” the tenant said. “We all got to figure. There’s some way to stop this. It’s not like lightning or earthquakes. We’ve got a bad thing made by men, and by God that’s something we can change.” The tenant sat in his doorway, and the driver thundered his engine and started off, tracks falling and curving, harrows combing, and the phalli of the seeder slipping into the ground. Across the dooryard the tractor cut, and the hard, foot-beaten ground was seeded field, and the tractor cut through again; the uncut space was ten feet wide. And back he came. The iron guard bit into the house-corner, crumbled the wall, and wrenched the little house from its foundation so that it fell sideways, crushed like a bug. And the driver was goggled and a rubber mask covered his nose and mouth. The tractor cut a straight line on, and the air and the ground vibrated with its thunder. The tenant man stared after it, his rifle in his hand. His wife was beside him, and the quiet children behind. And all of them stared after the tractor.


Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About

10 Random Links

OPAD #13 – Feb 15, 2024

Ten random (and good?) links.

  1. [Soothing] WALKING: BRUTALIST LONDON – Barbican Estate, RinneOnTheRoad, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=onAeaM4iZOM
  2. [Silly] Oversized Ladies Beach Straw Hat 70CM Wide-Brimmed Foldable Beach Sunscreen Travel Summer Hat, Amazon, https://amzn.to/3SVtQHz
  3. [ha] Every Best Picture Winner Ranked by How Good a Muppets Version Would Be, Hard-Drive, https://hard-drive.net/hd/entertainment/every-best-picture-winner-ranked-by-how-good-a-muppets-version-would-be
  4. [Brits] Get This Potato In The Golf Hole Without Touching The Green, Taskmaster (UK), https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UgSDcHPgCc
  5. [Cool] The Style Guide for America’s Highways: The Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices, Beautiful Public Data, https://www.beautifulpublicdata.com/the-style-guide-for-americas-highways-mutcd
  6. [Hopeful] Climate resources curated by Climate Town (Jobs, Activism, Research, etc.), Climate Town, https://hub.climatetownproductions.com/resources
  7. [Tasty] Cabbage, Sausage and Potato Soup, Gimmie Some Oven, https://www.gimmesomeoven.com/cabbage-sausage-potato-soup
  8. [Bad!] Great Lakes average ice cover drops to 6%, one of lowest levels ever recorded, The Guardian, https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/feb/12/great-lakes-average-ice-cover
  9. [Uh Oh] What Alcohol Does to Your Body, Brain & Health, Huberman Lab, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkS1pkKpILY
  10. [Old] P&G: Prell Shampoo Commercial, 1960s-1970s, Duke University Library Archives, https://repository.duke.edu/dc/adviews/dmbb39913
Categories
Some Thoughts About

Words

OPAD #10 – Feb 12, 2024

flub

spun

quintessential

plunk

average

tomb

surveillance

abysmal

creepy

frank

enough

cream

quitting

language


Categories
Some Thoughts About

5 Words And Phrases I’ve Had Stuck In My Head Recently – Part 1

OPAD #9 – Feb 11, 2024

Anyone else say something out loud to themselves, think it’s fun or funny to say, and then repeat it way too many times? Ya, not me. And not these words/phrases below.

Probably do this again at some point, so that’s why it’s “Part 1”.

“Dipshit Alert”

🚨🚨

“It was a typical British morning…”

Lily Sullivan has been on Comedy Bang Bang (the podcast) many times with many characters, but her portrayal of Bridget Jones, of Bridget Jones Diary (the movie) fame, is my favorite. Every episode she’s been on as this character I am doing my lil’ walk and smiling like a big doofus when she shares one of her diary entries, that all start “It was a typical British morning…”

Apple podcast link to one of my favorite episodes she plays this character: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jack-quaid-lily-sullivan-carl-tart/id316045799?i=1000616597824

Lily Sullivan – https://www.imdb.com/name/nm6324730/

“Ohhh, my back”

Getting old and having bad posture is bad.

“Uno memento”

It turns out this is not proper Spanish: https://spanishunraveled.com/uno-momento-meaning

You have to admit, it is fun to say, especially quickly and multiple times in a row.

“It’s Borger Time”

Sometimes a dude just has to broil up a few borgers for him and the fellas.

Categories
Famous Internet Posts Lists Some Thoughts About

My 5 Favorite Posts On bblloobb.com That Have Gotten Little To No Traffic

OPAD #7 – Feb 9, 2024

Turns out sometimes When You Build It, they do not actually Come.

  1. www.bblloobb.com/2021/9-wholesome-streamers-on-twitch-tv
    • Twitch Streamers who are nice boys and girls and theys.
  2. www.bblloobb.com/2021/the-11-best-disaster-porn-movies
    • Twister, The Day After Tomorrow, and all the rest.
  3. www.bblloobb.com/2023/nicknames-of-burton-gus-guster-psych-season-1
    • There is a page for each season, although to be honest it’s not quite complete. Tried to build out the version I had made on thenicknamesofburtonguster.com but Internet Archive wasn’t too complete. One day I’ll get back to finishing it.
  4. www.bblloobb.com/2023/transportation-and-urban-design-accounts-to-follow
    • Love me the world we live in (and how much it focuses on cars and sucks)
  5. www.bblloobb.com/2022/5-streaming-sites-you-should-subscribe-to-that-arent-netflix-hbo-max-amazon-prime-appletv-or-peacock
    • Got to watch my stories and my flicks and all that other garbage.
Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About What To Watch

My 3 Favorite Youtube Videos by Kendra Gaylord (@kendragaylord)

OPAD #6 – Feb 8, 2024

Kendra Gaylord has been one of my newer Youtube follows (and internet, parasocial crushes). She makes video essays (and a podcast) about Homes and Culture. She recently had a video “blow up” about 151 of the houses featured on Architectural Digest.

I’ve enjoyed her channel so much I asked for and got the book A Field Guide to American Houses: The Definitive Guide to Identifying and Understanding America’s Domestic Architecture, which is often referenced in her videos.

Here are my three favorites other than the 151 houses of AD.




Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About

Photos I Have Saved On My Work Computer For Some Reason Part 2 – 12 Photos

OPAD #5 – Feb 7, 2024

This is part two of this post which was a banger (probably?): https://www.bblloobb.com/2024/photos-i-have-saved-on-my-work-computer-for-some-reason-part-1-15-photos/

Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About

Photos I Have Saved On My Work Computer For Some Reason Part 1 – 15 Photos

OPAD #4 – Feb 6, 2024

I have a bunch of photos and screenshots saved on my work computer and about half I couldn’t tell you why. But either way, I could not possibly delete them. Here are 15 of them with more likely coming later.


Categories
Some Thoughts About

One Post A Day

OPAD #1 – Feb 3, 2024

Welcome to the first of the posts. The Original Post (OP). The One that started it all. Bbs first post. And so on.

I’m going to post one new thing on this website (www.bblloobb.com) until the day I die. Or I forget. Or I just give up.

Some will be my more “normal” posts such as what to watch on streaming sites, or who to follows. Could also just be a real cool video I saw with a little commentary. Might even just be one word for all I know. Let’s find out together.

Why am I doing this? Well after having a good run with some posts on here, traffic has been steadily dropping, and I’d like to reverse that. Also I’m just bored and think it would be good mentally and creatively to force discipline on myself.

Welp, see ya tomorrow.


Categories
Lists Some Thoughts About What To Buy What To Watch Who To Follow

The bblloobb.com/Mike E Schmee End Of Year Obsession List 2023

Twenty Twenty-Three (2023). What a year. We made it, gang.

I’m bad at “Best” lists. Too dumb. But I do get “obsessed” with things and will spend a night watching a Youtuber’s backlog, or binging a TV show until 3am, or actually read a twice a week newsletter, or finish a 1,000 piece puzzle in 4 hours.

Here are those obsessions. Join me in enjoying these.


Youtube Channels

[News] The Majority Report w/ Sam Seder

https://www.youtube.com/@TheMajorityReport

About: Currently one of my main resources for better understanding the politics and media of today. They do live shows that last 2-3 hours Monday through Friday, and then also share shorter clips from the show on Youtube. Watch them roast Tim Pool, walk through a recent Google Antitrust case, and laugh at the ever laughable: Ron DeSantis.

[Culture/Architecture] Kendra Gaylord

https://www.youtube.com/@kendragaylord

About: Kendra’s videos are a very recent find, and I’ve nearly watched all of her videos already. Soothing voice, good jokes, and I love to learn about the built environments we live in (towns and homes). Check out her video on the 151 Architectural Digest videos she watched.

[Culture/Tech/Communities] Folding Ideas

https://www.youtube.com/@FoldingIdeas

About: Do you have three hours to watch one of the better cultural criticism you’ll watch all year? Of course you do. Flat Earthers. NFTs/Crypto. I gave you all the clues Mr. Policeman.

[Weather] Ryan Hall, Ya’ll

https://www.youtube.com/@RyanHallYall

About: I love the weather. Ryan’s videos got me into the world of Amateur Meteorologists on Youtube. (See my list here!: 6 Amateur Meteorologists To Follow On Youtube). Weekly weather updates, live streams during severe weather, and more!

[Environment/Climate] Climate Town

https://www.youtube.com/@ClimateTown

About: Want to laugh while you are crying and in a state of existential dread while thinking about earth’s climate? Climate Town is the place for you. Parking. Dress Like Sexy Idiots. Food Waste.

[Cities/Urban Design/Transportation] City Nerd

https://www.youtube.com/@CityNerd

About: City Nerd visits cities and reviews how you move through them. And also does lists of cities based on how livable, walkable, affordable, etc. they are. Check them out!

[Living] Exploring Alternatives

https://www.youtube.com/@ExploringAlternatives

About: I love seeing little tiny homes, “hippies” building sustainable homes, and the like. More people should live these ways.


Podcasts

[Tech] Tech Won’t Save Us

About: Want a look into the Tech industry from people with actual souls? Start listening to Tech Won’t Save Us today! https://www.techwontsave.us

[Horror Movies] With Gourley and Rust

About: I can listen to Matt Gourley and Paul Rust talk about anything for 60 to 180 minutes, but I’m glad they decided on Thriller/Horror movies that are typically “cozy”. It has helped me get into these movies more, which has been fun to listen along when I have easy access to one of the films via streaming. https://shows.acast.com/with-gourley-and-rust

[Climate] Climate Denier’s Handbook

About: What lies do Climate Deniers use to push their bullshit, and how can we counteract those points? Climate Denier’s Handbook is here to help. Listen on Youtube or find links to your podcast player of choice: https://www.youtube.com/@DeniersPlaybook

Bonus: Blank Check


Artists

[Photography] Oliver Leach (@bakoon)

About: Oliver’s photo based art is some of the most interesting and accessible art I’ve come across the last few years. He does sales every month or two (or three?) through his own website, doing 1 of 1 prints, starting as low as $200. I was lucky enough to get one a couple of years ago, and check out his new work each time he emails the new link/password. Follow him on Bluesky to get on the list. https://bsky.app/profile/bakoon.bsky.social

[Painting] Kelly Einbinder (@keinbinder)

About: Kelly is an Instagram friend whose art I am in awe of every time she shares anything new. It has it all: animals, chaos, violence, dreams, and color. Follow them on Instagram and consider supporting their work. https://www.instagram.com/keinbinder

[Painting] Andrew Pope (@andrewppope)

About: Another long-time Twitter/Instagram friend who looks to have been spending quite a bit of time in the studio this year. I can’t wear my T-shirt based on one of his paintings out of the house without getting a compliment on it. Give him a follow on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/andrewppope

[Knitting] Kendall Ross (@id.knit.that)

About: As I get more and more into textile based art, I’m finding new gems constantly. Kendall Ross’s knitted sweaters with poems (for lack of better term) on them, are colorful and fun. Also parrot some of my own insecurities about my own art. Follow on Instagram. https://www.instagram.com/id.knit.that

Bonus: @erinmriley


Websites/Newsletters

I would have more in this section but I can no longer promote anything on Substack given they are wholeheartedly allowing Nazis on their site.

[Chicago] Block Club Chicago

As a newish (15 months) resident of Chicago, I decided I should start becoming part of the city and part of that is more than just taking shots of Malort. Block Club Chicago has been vital for staying up to date with things such as elections, migrants being bussed in from Texas, and openings and closings of resturants/cafes in my neighborhood. https://blockclubchicago.org/

[Social Media] Bluesky

Bluesky has been a good replacement for Twitter, although I had a good 4 months between quitting Twitter for good, and getting in to Bluesky, and using neither was a much better existence. Why then am I on Bluesky? Leave me alone. https://bsky.app/profile/mikeeschmee.com

[Sports] ESPN Chicago Cubs Page

I decided to get into the Cubs a third of the way through last season, and when I couldn’t catch an illegal stream, or get myself over to the stadium for a cheap ticket, I’d watch the play by play stream on the ESPN website. https://www.espn.com/mlb/team/_/name/chc/chicago-cubs


Movies and Films

[Disaster Porn] The Day After Tomorrow

Anyone else that works from home put on movies they have seen fifty (50) times on while they work? This is one for me. Maybe my most rewatched Disaster Porn movie.

[Political/Newsroom/Lawyer Thrillers] All The President’s Men/Three Days of The Condor/The Firm

Making copies. Making phone calls. Figuring out why people also in the CIA want to kill you. Movies! I couldn’t get enough of these three films this year. Probably watched each at least 3x each. With leads like Dustin Hoffman, Paul Newman, and Tom Cruise, it was hard not to, hubba hubba.

Bonus: The Ring, Arrival


Television (My Stories)

[Star Wars] Andor

The best Star Wars TV Show, based on a character from the best Star Wars Movie. Andor follows Cassian Andor as he is thrust into the early Rebellion. It includes a group of rag-tag weirdos, all very well cast. They infiltrate and sabotage against the forming/growing Empire. If only there was a modern day need/allegory for what happens in the show. The prison episode is especially good. Watch on Disney+.

[Irreverent] How To With John Wilson

Inexplicably the show that confronts what it means to be a human (especially in the Unite States/New York City) better than maybe any show ever. Please watch it on HBO Max/MAX.

[British] TaskMaster

The Brits: is there anything they can’t say that you have to rewind and turn up the volume to understand what the fuck they are saying? Taskmaster is a very fun comedian/game show, with 15+ series at this point, a lot of them free on Youtube (access to them in Plex with no commercials and the swears, is more ideal however). https://www.youtube.com/taskmaster

[Dad Show] Bosch

The ultimate Copaganda. Cop who kills a lot of people: good. The “real bad cops” are caught by the good cop who is still killing a lot of people. Etc. You get it. You gotta love the “L.A. is a character in the show” aspect though. My one complaint: Bosch doesn’t fuck enough. On Amazon Prime.

Bonus: Joe Pera, Mad Men,


Puzzles/Games

[Crossword] Daily Mini, The New York Times

What’s better than a crossword when you are dumb? A small crossword that is easy. A fun way to spend a minute on the toilet each morning as I try to beat my 17 second record. https://www.nytimes.com/crosswords/game/mini

[Other] Connections, The New York Times

A puzzle game I can win 90% of the time, is a puzzle game I like. Free via the New York Times Games website or app. https://www.nytimes.com/games/connections

[Jigsaw] Wassily Kandinsky Dominant Curb Puzzle 1,000 Pieces

I have done this puzzle about 6 times this year. I can do in roughly 4 hours (while watching TV shows and drinking). It’s a rare puzzle where I do not do the edge first because at this point I know where almost any piece I see (other than some of those white/tan ones) more or less exactly they go.

[Card] Nine Card Golf/Nines/Crazy Nines

This has become the game of choice for my family when it’s game time. With it’s few and simple rules, it makes it easy for my ADHD/bad memory/aging family.

Categories
Some Thoughts About

The Who’s This Clown? Tweet

“not even one of the better-known clowns” are possibly the funniest 9 words put together ever. I will forever think of this tweet anytime I ever see or hear about a clown.

Image:

Text: most cutting thing you can say is “who’s this clown?” because it implies they’re a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clowns


Categories
Better Is Possible Some Thoughts About

SEO For The Left: Backlinks

This post was previously hosted on www.mikeeschmee.com in November 2019. The below has been reviewed and updated in October 2023.


The full SEO For The Left Series:


Once you have the content and your site is properly formatted, the next most important thing to do is not even on your site. It’s getting other people to link to your site. Often referred to “backlinking”. It is important because it helps inform search engines that your site is trustworthy and has authority. The more sites that link to your site, and the more trustworthy those sites are, the more authority your site presumably has. This will lead to your content to showing up in search results more frequently and higher.

Since the beginning of search engines and their algorithms, gray and black-hat techniques have been used to falsely increase sites authority with backlinks. Search Engines have increasingly tracked and ignored these inauthentic techniques, so it is important it is done as closely to organically as possible. Buying 10,000 backlinks from a Fivvvvverr will not work (for long at least). In fact it could actually get you penalized! and you could be removed from Google search results completely.

Search can not only make sure more people see our views and think the way we do, but it can literally make or break a site. Below are what site owns should be doing to help increase their backlink portfolio which will increase your authority and search traffic. And also how you can use the power of your own site to help others (and the left in general).

If you don’t have your own site or work in media, there are some things you can do to help at the bottom, so please check those out.


What Site Owners Should Be Doing:

How To Help Your Own Site:

Have content: 

-Have well written, well sourced, well formatted content. Content that people wouldn’t be embarrassed to share or use as a source. “Evergreen” content such as how-tos, explainers, top lists, etc. are helpful for getting backlinks. And check out the SEO For The Left: Content post for some content ideas and how to find the best phrases to use in titles and headers.

Internal linking: 

-Link to your own content that is relevant. Manually link to related content in other content or just with well phrased keyword/topic index pages mentioned in the SEO For The Left: Onsite post.

Get credit: 

-Make sure people who reference you/source you are linking to the relevant content on your site. You can use Google Alerts for your site/name to find sites that are referencing you, and reach out to the writer/editor to ask they add a link to your site.

Use yourself, writers, and friends:

-Actively write on other publications/blogs and make sure you have a bio on that site that is linked to your own site.

-Ask your writers to link back to their work on your site from their personal sites, bios on other sites they write on, and social media.

-Ask your media friends. The Media, and progressive media specifically, is semi-insular. At your monthly happy-hours or in the DMs ask for them to use your work as a linked source and to share on social media.

How To Help Others Using The Power Of Your Site:

All of the above, but opposite:

-Use other lefty sites as sources and properly give credit. Accept work from people outside and make sure your site has bios for authors (this is good for site authority too, mentioned in Onsite post) with links to their other work on progressive sites.

Link to Good Sites:

-Find progressive sources you can link to for each of your “verticals” that you write about. For example if you write an article about Climate Change, link to sites/specific authors that cover it from a more progressive bent than other sites. You could have a list of a few sites and authors for each topic that you start with for linking to related news or sources.

Do Not Link To Bad Sites:

-DO. NOT. LINK. TO. FOXNEWS / BREITBART / SINCLAIROWNEDLOCALNEWS / ETC. EVER. Journalistic integrity or courtesy be damned. Either find other “good” sources or do what the New York Times and New Yorker do and just don’t link at all when referencing the source.

-Use Google to search your site for old bad links and unlink them. Search: site:*your site domain**space**bad site domain* (example: site:www.commondreams.org foxnews.com)

The top 3 were “bad link” free, but the fourth was full of them. It could be argued it’s worth for showing their hate/bigotry/etc. but it should be a rare occurrence. The same can be done with screenshots with no link backs.


What Readers Can Do:

Social media:

-Follow those sites on social media.

-Link to these sites and articles on social media. (Google has claimed it does not use social as part of search rankings, but some have found that it may help, if just for the fact that more people visiting your site from any source leads to more organic shares/followers/backlinks.)

Searching and reading:

-When you are searching for something, go out of your way to find and read the more lefty site, even if it requires you going to page 2 or 3 of the google search results. And once you do go to that article, make sure you are spending time on the piece of content and going to other pages on the same visit. This will help that content rank higher, if people are spending time on the site and are engaged with the content.

-If you’re reading something that has a progressive site sourced but not linked, email the author/editor. I can not speak if the site you are doing that on behalf of would appreciate that, so do at your own risk.


*Turns hat AND chair around. Sits.* Let’s be real, one person or site doing this won’t make a huge difference but much like fighting against the entrenched powers ($$) that make it so 500,000 are sleeping on the street tonight in America, and 40,000 die from lack of healthcare a year, it takes a concerted effort and a big part of that is winning the information war. While SEO certainly isn’t the most important part of this effort, it’s something that shouldn’t be overlooked or mocked.

Here are some additional sources on best backlinking practices:


The full SEO For The Left Series:


Categories
Better Is Possible Some Thoughts About

SEO For The Left: Onsite

This post was previously hosted on www.mikeeschmee.com in November 2019. The below has been reviewed and updated in October 2023.


The full SEO For The Left Series:


Thanks to my pleading you now care about SEO and because of the online tools I shared you have the content people want to see.

It’s also important to have your site properly formatted and coded so search engines can find your content, understand what it is, and determine it is worth showing people in the result. 

Here are 8 different onsite factors to consider on your site for SEO that will help your content show up in search results. 

Titles/Headers/Meta Tags

One of the most obvious is how you title the content on your site. Is it descriptive of what the content is actually about? This should also be considered for your subheads. This can be a good place to use the questions you found from the SEO For The Left: Content post.

Meta tags such as Description and Keywords are no longer used by search engines to decide where to rank you, but the Description will often be what is shown to the searcher on the listing page, so writing your own Description can be useful in getting people to click to your content once your content shows up in searches. Typically Google will auto show part of the actual content, depending on the search people did so I wouldn’t worry too much about this until you are contending for very high search terms.

Structure

The structure of the content of your site is important. You should have a <title> tag that the above talked about, read more here: https://moz.com/learn/seo/title-tag.

Use <h1><h2><h3> tags for the headers of your content similar to an outline structure. See more about <H1> tags here: https://neilpatel.com/blog/h1-tag/.

The content itself should be in standard, readable html code. If all your text is in an image, for instance, a crawler can not read that text. 

Keyphrases

As discussed in SEO For The Left: Content, how you phrase your content is important. It’s also important to use that terminology you are hoping to be ranked for in the content itself too. Since your titles/headers should be representative of what the content is about, presumably you’d have that same phrasing used in the body of the content. But you don’t want to unnaturally over do it, or what they call “keyword stuffing”.

It would get boring and be a bad reading experience for your reader to keep reading needless, repetitive words so using synonyms is okay and these will also be understood by the search engines. They will help reach a broader number of searchers since everyone won’t search using the exact phrasing.

Internal Linking

Linking to your own content on your site is useful not just so your visitors can explore other content of yours to learn more, it’s also helpful for web crawlers to quickly and easily find the related, most useful content for them to index. Manually adding links to related content, like I have done here to the other SEO For The Left posts, is one way you should be doing this. Another way to have this done automatically is to have topic, keyword and author index pages. For example: “Famous Internet Posts” keyword page on this site, which indexes all the posts I’ve tagged with that. (Check it out to see some of my favorite tweets I had trouble finding when searching the web.)

See more in depth information on internal linking here: https://moz.com/learn/seo/internal-link 

Images

Alt Text is a description of what the image is showing. This is used for the blind when using the web, and also by search engines to understand what the image. Quality, correct alt text on images can help not only have that image show up in search results on Google, but also they are used by the search engines to understand what the page itself is about.

Your images shouldn’t be large files. It slows down page load speed, which is bad (see next section). Definitely make sure your images that are on all or a significant number of pages, are properly sized. Images shouldn’t be more than 100KB, simpler pictures should be even less. Here’s a resource for properly formatting images for the web: https://kinsta.com/blog/optimize-images-for-web/ 

Site Speed

People don’t like slow websites. And neither to search engines. Site speed can especially be an issue for mobile users. (Mobile users now make up 52% of the web.) As noted above, check your image sizes to help cut down on load times. There are many tools to check how your site performs on different devices, here is one that has worked well for me in the past: https://www.webpagetest.org/

And this Google resource will provide suggestions on changes to make to increase speed, some get fairly technical: https://developers.google.com/speed/pagespeed/insights/ 

Robots.txt

This file tells web crawlers which content/files on your site is public facing and should be indexed. This file should likely be very basic and you can find examples online. 

From the Bing and Google Webmaster Tools: https://www.bing.com/webmaster/help/how-to-create-a-robots-txt-file-cb7c31ec and https://support.google.com/webmasters/answer/6062608?hl=en

If your search traffic ever dives, check your robots.txt file. One site I was helping somehow changed theirs to direct crawlers to not index the entire site and their search traffic dropped 50% overnight.

Authors

Having authors for your content and including a proper bio helps give authority to your content and site. Whether the site/author seems to have authority will factor into the search rankings. It’s also a good way to backlink to the author’s other sites which presumably will be progressive or progressive adjacent.

The next post in the SEO For The Left series will be about backlinking.

Additional considerations with resources: 

Check out this MOZ resource for onsite SEO, which goes into some of the above factors more in depth and more: https://moz.com/learn/seo/on-site-seo

Domain/URL Structure is important: https://moz.com/learn/seo/url

Schema helps tell search engines what *kind* of content you have and additional information you can provide (dates, names, addresses, etc): https://moz.com/learn/seo/schema-structured-data and https://schema.org/docs/schemas.html 

Canonical Tags if you have duplicated content: https://moz.com/learn/seo/canonicalization 


The full SEO For The Left Series:


Categories
Better Is Possible Some Thoughts About

SEO For The Left: Content

This post was previously hosted on www.mikeeschmee.com in November 2019. The below has been reviewed and updated in October 2023.


The full SEO For The Left Series:


In my SEO For The Left post I made the case for the left caring about SEO to spread our message. So you care now, how do you make sure your message shows up in the search results? There are a lot of things to consider but most important, and first: Have the content. 

Write it yourself. Pay someone else to. Will it into existence. Or do what I do: think about it for months, outlining it in detail in your head, and then lack the ability to actually put it down with any coherence.

But what content?  Good question, would be a shame if someone answered it for you…

You want to answer the questions people ask a search engine or things they are looking to learn more about. 

  • These can be actual questions: “what does a union do” “what is socialism”
  • Or single words: “bitcoin” “oat milk”
  • Or can also be breaking news: “trump indicment” “hurricane [name]”
  • Or even days (real or fake): “may day” “international men’s day”

Even if not framed as a proper question the user is saying “I want to know more about this” or “I want to see why this is in the news”. The content itself should answer these questions more broadly, but also directly. There should even be the actual question in the headline or in a header of the content body. 

These questions or content topics can be found with anecdotal evidence, through outside sources, or by using online tools. I’ll go over three different online tools you can use to find content and how to refine the content: Google Search Results, Answer The Public, and Google Ads Keyword Planner. 

How to use Google Search results to find specific content to write:

When you search in Google oftentimes there will be additional questions that people asked related to that topic. For instance, when I search “what is socialism” these additional questions show up:

Writing content answering those specific questions can ultimately result in your content showing up there. When you click on these questions it opens up a snippet from the site with the answer and is linked to the site. (It also adds additional related questions, which can give you even more ideas of questions to answer.)

(I’m only focusing on the question drop downs, but some searches have an actual snippet at the very top that attempts to answer the question. To see examples and more on getting included in those, see this blog by Neil Patel: https://neilpatel.com/blog/how-to-get-your-content-in-the-google-serps-featured-snippet/)

How to use Answer The Public to find questions to answer surrounding a specific topic:

Another great resource for finding questions to answer about a specific topic, that people have actually searched before is Answer The Public

Put the topic in the search and you’ll get a visualization of all the different questions that people have asked using that word/topic. The visualization is a little difficult to read, but you can view as data (pic below) and even export to a .csv.

How to use Google Ads Keyword Planner to refine phrasing used and find similar phrases: 

With a Google Account you can access Google Ads and the Keyword Planner. The Keyword Planner is meant to be used to plan out ad campaigns, but works for some basic search research. It will give rough estimated total searches for specific words or broad topics . It can help choose specific phrasing to reach the most people and what topics to put your likely limited resources behind.

Here is a write up with specifics of how to use this for this purpose: https://www.quicksprout.com/how-to-use-google-keyword-planning-tool/ 

Pay some attention to the competition column, but that is specifically about how many people are purchasing ads for those keywords. The best way to see actual competition, and thus the likelihood you’d show up on the first page of the search results (majority of clicks happen on the top listing, and vast majority on first page) is to search the exact phrase with quotes “” on google and see the total results:

There is a lot less content out there for “what is may day” but also significantly less searches per month, compared to “what is socialism”. Finding content that is high in searches but low in search results is more likely worth the resources to write about.

These three online tools should give you guidance on how to phrase the content you have and where to focus some of your efforts on additional content to reach the most people possible.

For some additional tools on finding content that would reach people and how to phrase it check out these sources:


The full SEO For The Left Series:


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Better Is Possible Some Thoughts About

SEO For The Left: The Case For

This post was previously hosted on www.mikeeschmee.com in November 2019. The below has been reviewed and updated in October 2023.


The full SEO For The Left Series:


People are rightfully skeptical of “SEO” and the people who sell it. Fifteen years ago if you tried to find any information about it online you will be inundated with pop-up riddled websites, false promises, and cheap black-hat services that may have gotten you eventually deindexed. Today this isn’t quite the case, but I think the stigma largely continues in the anti-capitalist/left community. And that is to our detriment.

Showing up 1st (first) in the search results for a Google search can be extremely lucrative $$$. But instead of thinking about it in dollars, what if we instead thought: how many people can we properly define socialism to? Or educate what unions have done for the working class? Or why Medicare For All will not overall increase our costs for healthcare? Or who killed Jeffery Epstein? That’s worth more than money.

Google alone (90%+ of all searches in USA) serves results for billions of searches each DAY. People have questions. They ask Google. Let’s make sure they are getting our answers in front of them.

Using the Google Ads Keyword Planner (more on that in Content For The Left), there are at least 100,000-500,000 searches each month just asking “what is socialism” or some variant of it. And these searches will result in links on other websites, shares on social, and links in boomer’s FW:re:FW:fw:DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENS WITH SOCIALISM HAPPENS TO THE FOOD THERE IS NO FOOD AT STORES: Fw: RE: AND EVERYONE DIES emails. So the potential reach is massive for a single search term.

Let’s take a look at the results for my search for “what is socialism” (your search may vary), to show you how much work we have to do. After a dictionary definition from Oxford, four drop down questions google deemed related (more on these in Content For The Left) Here are my results:

These were the results in November 2019. My search in October 2023 included many of the same investment sites, as well as economic and philosophy schools (suspect!), but oddly no videos.

  1. Three Youtube Videos:
    • Now This World: it’s not great. 
    • Hip Hughes: poorly produced and content probably not great.
    • Information Station: This is a site by the “Job Creators Network” (conservative advocacy network run by Home Depot CEO) so you can imagine what it’s like. 
  2. Then The Jeff Bezos owned Washington Post (written by Glenn Kessler, the inept Pinocchios guy). 
  3. Then an investment educational site(!!), Investopedia.
  4. Then a pro bank/capital site that is owned by the same company as the Investopedia. As far as content it’s not too terrible but sneaks in the fascism comparison to falsely equate. 

The rest of the page was Wikipedia entries and then links to similar searches.

Is this what we want people to see? Even if a few of these are technically correct definitions do they help convince anyone that socialism is anything other than an impossible utopia or result in Hilter II, like so many currently believe?

This is just one very broad example. There are thousands of other topics and recent events where we are not showing up on searches either. We are going up against massive legacy media companies, and Koch/bank backed websites. So how can we compete?

  1. Having websites (we seem to be losing them rather than gaining)
  2. Having the content 
  3. Having our websites and content formatted in the correct way
  4. Having backlinks to the websites and content we want people to see

This on-going SEO/Content For The Left series will help answer the above so we can continue to grow the progressive/socialist movement until billionaires no longer exist.


The full SEO For The Left Series:


If you don’t have the time (months) to wait for me to finish writing these here are some legitimate and good beginner resources for SEO: 

Categories
Dystopia Is Already Here Some Thoughts About

Is Elon Musk A Genius?

A question a lot of people will say “Yes” to, but are they right?

Let’s take a look at some of the decisions of Elon Musk, the CEO of Twitter, SpaceX, Neuralink, Boring Company, and Tesla.



October 2023

October 1st:

How the Elon Musk biography exposes Walter Isaacson

This is a really good article on the many lies of Elon Musk, and how those lies are ignored, not investigated, or just straight up believed by the Tech Media, including Walter Isaacson. Go into the article to see sourcing and proof for the bold list below.

“One of the things that anyone covering Elon Musk for long enough has to reckon with is that he loves to tell hilarious lies. For instance:

  • “Funding secured.”
  • Tesla share sales.
  • Tesla and Bitcoin.
  • The staged 2016 Autopilot demo video.
  • The batteries in Teslas will be exchangeable.
  • The time he said Teslas might fly.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/10/1/23895069/walter-isaacson-biography-musk-review


September 2023

September 29th:

Is questioning a country saving the lives of humans something a dumb person does? I don’t think so!!!

https://bsky.app/profile/marisakabas.bsky.social/post/3kal23pxhtj2u

September 8th:

X is no longer labeling ads for some users: Not disclosing advertisements runs afoul of the FTC’s rules.

“The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has made it clear multiple times over the years that paid advertisements must be clearly marked as such so as to not mislead consumers to believe they are viewing organic or editorial content. In 2013, for example, the FTC sent a warni to dozens of search engine providers regarding how ads weren’t being clearly disclosed on these online platforms. The FTC stated that companies should put text-based labels on each ad.”

https://mashable.com/article/twitter-x-removes-ad-labels-for-some-users


September 7th:

Elon Musk Secretly Sabotaged Ukraine Attack Against Russia, Book Reveals

“Musk in 2022 secretly ordered his engineers to turn off Starlink’s connectivity along the Crimean coast in order to thwart a Ukrainian attack on Russia’s naval fleet, according to an excerpt of Walter Isaacson’s long-anticipated Elon Musk obtained by CNN. Musk made the decision out of a fear that the attack would lead Russia to retaliate with nuclear weapons, according to Isaacson.

The Ukrainian subs rigged to blow up the Russian ships “lost connectivity and washed ashore harmlessly” after Musk disconnected their service, Isaacson writes.”

https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/elon-musk-sabotaged-ukraine-attack-russia-1234820180/


August 2023

August 30th:

X faces millions in fees over unpaid severance for former Twitter employees: X currently faces 2,200 arbitration cases from ex-employees.

“Twitter, now known as X, is currently facing 2,200 arbitration cases from former employees looking to get their deserved benefits. The number of arbitration cases was first highlighted by CNBC as a result of a new filing in a lawsuit against Twitter from one of its former employees looking to get their promised severance. “

https://mashable.com/article/x-twitter-elon-musk-severance-arbitration-fees


August 1st:

Elon Musk Is Absolutely an Enemy of Free Speech: The magnate positions himself as a champion of free and open debate while taking extraordinary efforts to silence any honest criticism and independent research that might negatively impact him or his businesses.

“These attempts to silence his critics are not surprising to anyone who’s followed Musk’s erratic behavior. The magnate positions himself as a champion of free and open debate while taking extraordinary efforts to silence any honest criticism and independent research that might negatively impact Musk and his many businesses.”

https://www.commondreams.org/opinion/elon-musk-free-speech



Categories
Some Thoughts About What To Watch

Some Thoughts About The Movie Gone Girl (2014)

The first time I saw Gone Girl (2014) I was watching it in a bar, surrounded by people I hate (including myself, obviously) half reading the closed captions. I started roughly 30 minutes in (she was freshly missing) and stopped watching with roughly 30 minutes left (she was at her old boyfriend’s giant second home, but before murdering him).

I just recently watched the entire movie, while I was working (so was like 90% paying attention to the film).



*Law and Order voice* These were his thoughts. *dun* *dun*

  • He should have done the Borat “my wife” at least once
  • The movie strongly enforces the stereotype that women be crazy.
  • The movie also strongly enforces the stereotype that men be lazy, video game playing losers that suck the life out of women and don’t even bother to know who their friends are or what they do all day.
  • It’s nearly a sort of “all sides” reactionary response to the #metoo movement. “See, women can be liars.”
  • Who is buying that she ends up getting away with this though. Not one person bothered to look at the tapes at the house where she killed her ex boyfriend, or see where that guy (NPH) was the day of her disappearance?
  • My thing for tallish woman with shortish, dirty blonde hair has been activated…indirectly threaten to murder me mommy? (oh god)
  • What was her motivation? The manipulation seemed to be a thing that happened multiple times. Just fun? The cheating broke her? Was she just like bored?

As of posting Gone Girl (2014) is streaming in MAX (fka HBO Max fka HBO GO fka HBO).

Categories
Some Thoughts About What To Watch

Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Movies

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

Coming soon!!

minute 34 or so nickname for shawn.

magic head at 53min or so.

Psych: The Movie

Coming soon!

Psych 2: Lassie Come Home

Coming soon!

Psych 3: This Is Gus

Coming soon!

Psych 4: ???

Categories
Some Thoughts About What To Watch

Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 7

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S07E01, “Santabarbaratown 2”:

Gern Blanston

“Can I help you boys” – Gun Range Man, “Well, I certainly hope so. My name is Shawnaise. This is my partner, Gurn Blandsten.” – Shawn, “Strol.” – Gern, “We are entrepreneurs from Seattle. We opened the firt blow-dart party pound-up in Tukwila, so clearly we know what we’re doing. We’d like to open one of these, up there.” -Shawn, “A gun range?” – Gun Range Man, “That’s right, but for kids. We’d like the same deal; offensive stereotype logo, whole shebang. May we speak with the owner, Jerry?” – Shawn, 10:00

Satchel Gizmo

“What the hell voice is that?” -Shawn, “That’s my delivery man, Satchel…Satchel Gizmo. He’s likeable, so everyone let’s him into places.” – S. Gizmo, “He’s indecipherable and constipated.” – Half Bearded Shawn, “That’s a part of his charm.” – S. Gizmo, “His charm is that he’s all stopped up?” – Shawn, “He’s been married nine times.” – S. Gizmo, “How much backstory did you come up with for this guy?” – Shawn, 16:00

S07E02, “Juliet Takes a Luvah”:

Immaculate Conception

“Who are these guys?” – Ken, “Shawn Spencer, psychic detective. This is my partner, Immaculate Conception. We are both not married. Although he has a new girlfriend and my girlfriend is currently seeing other people, but strictly for professional reasons. She’s a pro. ” – Shawn, 30:00

S07E03, “Lassie Jerky” (Pic):

Pootie Tang

Nutella

Gopher

S07E04, “No Country for Two Old Men”:

None?

S07E05, “100 Clues” (Pic):

Domo Arigato

S07E06, “Cirque du Soul”:

None?

S07E07, “Deeez Nups”:

None?

S07E08, “Right Turn or Left for Dead”:

Johannes Gustafsson

S07E09, “Juliet Wears the Pantsuit”:

None?

S07E010, “The Santabarbarian Candidate”:

 Bill Of-Rights

S07E11, “Office Space”:

None?

S07E11, “Dead Air” (Pic):

Vijay Armitraj

A Player Named Gus

Django Unchained

Burton Goutster

S07E13, “Nip and Suck It”:

Mr. Nessbaum(?)

Darrell

S07E13, “No Trout About It”:

S07E15/16, “Psych: The Musical” :

Lil’ Wayne

“Hello my name is Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Lil’ Wayne.” – Shawn, 15:00

King Markat?


Categories
Some Thoughts About What To Watch

Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 6

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S06E01, “Shawn Rescues Darth Vader”:

S06E02, “Last Night Gus”:

Last Night Gus

Bud

S06E03, “This Episode Sucks”:

Count Chocula

Blacula

S06E04, “The Amazing Psych-Man & Tap Man, Issue #2”:

Tap Man

Watson Williams

Benedict Arnold Jackson

S06E05, “Dead Man’s Curve Ball”:

Seabird 

S06E06, “Shawn, Interrupted”:

SUGGS

S06E07, “In for a Penny…”:

Bob Jones

Engle Woods

S06E08, “The Tao of Gus”:

S06E09, “Neil Simon’s Lover’s Retreat”:

S06E10, “Indiana Shawn and the Temple of the Kinda Crappy, Rusty Old Dagger”:

Brutal Hustler

Brute

Barton

Braxton

Lao Che

S06E11, “Heeeeere’s Lassie”:

Fellatio del Toro

Eddie Adams from Torrance

S06E12, “Shawn and the Real Girl”:

Larenz Tate

Burton Gooster

Huxtable

Bud

The Jackal

S06E13, “Let’s Doo-Wop It Again”:

S06E14, “Autopsy Turvy”:

S06E15, “True Grits”:

Hammerin’ Gus

“You just loogied on my shoe.” – Shawn, “I’m creating a character. Hammerin’ Gus.” – Gus, “He’s disgusting.” – Shawn “He’s misunderstood.” – Gus, “What does that mean?” – Shawn, “He’s been through a lot, Shawn. ” Gus, 21:30

S06E16, “Santabarbaratown”:

Sh’Dynasty

“Excuse me, who are you?” –  Lawyer, “Shawn Spencer. That is my partner, Sh’Dynasty. It is spelled S-H–comma to the top–Dynasty.” – Shawn, “Comma to the top?” – Jordon Beaumont, “That’s gods comma.” – Gus, “And I am a badass psychic detective, Jack Fon Swoo.” – Shawn, 8:30

Candyman

“Excuse me, do you mind if I have some of this candy?” – Gus, “Of course, dear.” – Bea, “Thank you.” – Gus, “You have a problem, Candyman.” – Shawn, “I make the world taste good.” – Gus, 15:00

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Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 5

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S05E01, “Romeo and Juliet and Juliet”:

Johnathan Jacob Jingly Smith

“Mr. Chiang, I’m the resident psychic here. My name is Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Johnathan Jacob Jingly Smith” – Shawn, “You’re saying his name is John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt?” – Mr. Chiang, “That’s correct, sir. We used to share the name. I changed mine because of all the people shouting, when I went out.” – Shawn, 4:45

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt on Wikipedia

S05E02, “Feet Don’t Kill Me Now”:

Santonio Holmes

“I’m a psychic with the police department, this is my partner, Santonio Holmes.” – Shawn, 28:00

Santonio Holmes on Wikipedia

Deon Richmond

“Tonya, got bad news. These are cops, this is Deon Richmond, and I’m a psychic. I see things and I feel things.” – Shawn, 35:30

Deon Richmond on Wikipedia

S05E03, “Not Even Close… Encounters”:

Gurton Buster

“Well, last night I witnessed aliens abduct a fellow coworker…And I can prove it, thanks to the fine investigative work being down by psychic detectives Shawn Spencer and… Gurton Buster” – Shawn, 16:30

S05E04, “Chivalry Is Not Dead… But Someone Is”:

Chaz Bono

“Ah, there must be some sort of mistake, we’re not students. I’m psychic detective Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Chaz Bono.” – Shawn, 7:45

Chaz Bono on Wikipedia



S05E05, “Shawn and Gus in Drag (Racing)”:

Chocolate Einstein

“Yeah, what Chocolate Einstein just said.” – Shawn, 7:00

Albert Einstein on Wikipedia

M.C. Clap Yo Handz

“I’m Shawn, this is my associate M.C. Clap Yo Handz.” – Shawn, 10:40

Road Rash

“Look, these dudes are a tribe, alright? They’re very close-kit, which is why Road Rash and I will be hanging out with them tonight.” -Shawn, 23:30

Mellow Rush

“Mellow Rush” – Burton Guster, 23:30

Crankshaft

“That sounds like a crappy energy drink  that gives you tongue hives. How about Crankshaft?” – Shawn, 24:30

Ms. Whiddleberry

“Okay, fine. Ms. Whiddleberry it is.” – Shawn, 24:00

“No, it’s just the opposite Whiddleberry.” –  Tommy Nix, 25:50

“And Mrs. Whiddleberry, nothing personal.” – Tommy Nix, 40:45

G-Force

“Done. You ready to go, G-Force?” – Shawn, 24:10

Sher Black Lock

“All right, Sher Black Lock, if it wasn’t Gina, who was it?” – Shawn, 32:50

S05E06, “Viagra Falls”:

Slick Fingers

“You just proved my point, Slick Fingers.” – Boone, 7:30

Imhotep

He Cometh In Peace

“Hello, ma’am. My name is Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Imhotep, or He Cometh In Peace. Go ahead, show her your ‘Cometh In Peace’ face.” – Shawn, 10:00

Lawanda Page

“Well, the palm reader and that guy who looks like a young Lawanda Page decided to join us.” – Peters, “Lawanda Page, from Sanford and Son?” – Gus, “You’re damn right. You let that hair grow out and you’d look just like her.” – Boone, “You do have a little Lawanda in the eyes, Gus.” – Shawn, 11:15

Lawanda Page on Wikipedia

Floyd

“Only 45 minutes until the search, Floyd.” – Shawn (mocking old man Peters), “Good thing, Don. Early bird special just around the corner at Coco’s.” – Gus (mocking old man Boone), 13:00

“The good news is I got plenty of time to change into my club clothes, Floyd.” – Shawn (mocking old man Peters), “You don’t have club clothes, Don.” – Gus (mocking old man Boone), “Exactly.” – Shawn (still mocking old man Peters), 22:00

Control-Alt-Delete

“Hello there, my name is Shawn Spencer. I’m a psychic detective. This is my partner Control-Alt-Delete. The gentlemen on the flank are us in 30 years.” Shawn, 32:50

Gootsy

“See, I was talking to Peters and Boone. You guys should just stayed fired.” – Chief Vick, “Nah, Sis, without Rick and Gootsy here, Floyd and I’d still be in the park playing checkers.” – Peters, “Yeah, they were the kick in the pants we needed.” – Boone, 39:00

S05E07, “Ferry Tale”:

The Guster

“Heeeey, The Guster” –  Dan Carter, 1:50

Black Al Gore

“Before you go Black Al Gore on me, you should know that your sea sickness patch fell off” – Shawn, 2:30

Al Gore on Wikipedia



S05E08, “Shawn 2.0”:

Jimmy Smitten

“Why would you consult Lassie?” – Gus “Because unlike you and Jules, he’s not smitten with this guy.” -Shawn, “I’m not smitten.” – Gus, “You’re Jimmy Smitten” – Shawn, 26:30

S05E09, “One, Maybe Two, Ways Out”:

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje

“No, Gus, this is our chance to Bourne it up. I’m Matt Damon, you’re Adewale Akinnuoy-Ag..Bjnan.” – Shawn, 30:00

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje on Wikipedia

S05E10, “Extradition II: The Actual Extradition Part”:

Yasmine Bleeth

“Hello, I’m Shawn Spencer, psychic detective. This is Big Apple Mackintosh and my partner, Yasmine Bleeth.” – Shawn, 19:40

Yasmine Bleeth on Wikipedia

S05E11, “In Plain Fright”:

S05E12, “Dual Spires”:

Fredrick Douglas

“Something is off with this place, Shawn. People keep looking at me like I’m the first black man they’ve seen.” – Gus, “Come on, Gus. Don’t be absurd.” – Shawn, “Hey mister, are you Frederick Douglass?” – Little girl on bike, “Shawn, we need to get out of here.” – Gus, 2:00

Lodge Blackman

“Mr. and Mrs. Barker, I have a confession to make. I’m not just a cinnamon enthusiast. I’m also a Psychic Detective and this is my partner, Lodge Blackman.” – Shawn, 5:30

“Whoa, Jack. I’m Shawn. He’s Blackman.” – Shawn, 25:15

Jet Blackness

“We took a walk in the forest, and she told me she wanted to leave Dual Spires. And I said that was a mistake. And then, Jet Blackness.” – Jack Smith, “What does that mean?” – Gus, “It would be a great porn name for you.” – Shawn

S05E13, “We’d Like to Thank the Academy”:

(The) Black Goose

“Why can’t I be the Goose…Stop hypothetically typecasting me, Shawn…I want to be the Black Goose.” – Burton Guster, 16:20

Sundown

“Sundown, we’re in.” – Shawn, “The Goose, Shawn, the Black Goose.” – Burton Guster, 18:15

Mission Figs

“I’m Officer Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Mission Figs. We’re here to ask the tough questions.” – Shawn, 27:15

S05E14, “The Polarizing Express”:

Brown Snowman Gus

“Who am I talking to? Oh, Brown Snowman Gus, I think I’ll miss you most of all.” – Shawn, 22:30

Keith Sweat

“Pfft, Gus, don’t be Keith Sweat now. I’m sharp as a tack.” -Shawn, 30:00

Keith Sweat on Wikipedia

S05E15, “Dead Bear Walking”:

Radio Star

“Hello, I’m Shawn Spencer, this is my partner Radio Star. I’m afraid your video will kill him.” – Shawn, 3:40

Gusjay Gupta

“I have an expert witness…I present Gusjay Gupta, ” – Shawn, 25:20

Original G-String

Crowd Pleazah

“Well, the goal is to get buzzed in, right? So I’ve been known to use the pizza delivery routine. Gus has had much more success with the stripper-grams. His stage name is Original G-String, aka Crowd Pleazah. You’re up, String. Do your thing.” – Shawn, 30:45

Stoney Jackson

“Now, Lauren, please remember, if anyone ever makes a movie out of your documentary, I would like to be played by Cillian Murphy because it’s unexpected. It’s odd. People will talk. Obviously, Stoney Jackson will play Gus. Fyvush Finkel will play my father. Now he’s probably gonna want to do a lisp, but…that actually feels right to me.” – Shawn, 34:45

Stoney Jackson on Wikipedia

S05E16, “Yang 3 in 2D”:

Don Cheadle Junior

“Very good, Don Cheadle Junior.” – Yin, 35:00

Don Cheadle on Wikipedia

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Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 4

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S04E01, “Extradition: British Columbia”:

Usain Bolt

“Dude, I know you’ve seen Entrapment at least 26 times. You have to do this. You’re twice as limber as C. Zeta-Jones.” -Shawn Spencer, “Uh-uh, Shawn. Not happening.” – Gus, “Gus, we don’t have a lot of options here. It’s not like we can turn back. Look it’s three lasers. Plus, they’re Canadian lasers. I’m gonna guide you through this….Usain Bolt.” – Shawn, 32:30

S04E02, “He Dead”:

Jazz Hands

“My name is Shawn Spencer. This is my associate Jazz Hands.” – Shawn, 26:20

S04E03, “High Noon-ish”:

Winston Zeddemore

“We’ve been looking for over an hour, Shawn. I need a break.” -Gus,  “There’s got to be a logical explanation for where that horse and rider disappeared to.” – Shawn, “I’ve got one for you. The next dimension.” – Gus, “Really, Winston Zeddmore? That’s what you believe, huh?” – Shawn, “I haven’t slept in two days, Shawn. I don’t know what I believe.” -Gus

Winston Zeddmore on WikipediaGet Ghostbusters I & II on Amazon.com

S04E04, “The Devil’s in the Details… and the Upstairs Bedroom”:

Shawn

“Hello, Mrs. Ryan. My name is Shawn, This is Shawn–no relation–we’re grief counselors from the school.” – Shawn, 16:50



S04E05, “Shawn Gets the Yips”:

S04E06, “Bollywood Homicide”:

Greg

“That’s uh…Shawn and…um…Greg, and they helped me out with a problem earlier and I owe them.” – Raj, 17:00

S04E07, “High Top Fade-Out”:

B

“Whoa, Whoa, Gus. You’re listed as a recipient here. Do you remember getting this email?” -Shawn, “Yeah, I got it, and I immediately proceeded to place it in the trash bin.” – Gus, “Pssh, that’s cold, B.” – Tony (played by Jaleel White), 9:00

Detective Miles

“Well, I’m Shawn Spencer, this dead body here is Detective Miles.” – Shawn, 14:15

Gus Brown

“Let me take the lead on this one, Shawn. You’re way out of your element here.” – Gus, “Make it quick, gentlemen.” – Lenard’s Boss, “Thank you for taking the time to speak with us, sir. My name is Gus…Brown, and this is my associate Shawn White.” – Gus, “Wow” (whispered) – Shawn, 20:00

John Slade

“Excuse us, we were never formally introduced. I’m world-renowned Psychic/Lothario Shawn Spencer. This is my associate…” – Shawn, “Gus, but you can call me John Slade.” – Burton Guster, “I’m Chelsea.” – Chelsea (Lenard’s co-worker), 22:30

“Hello. Yes this is John Slade. Oh, hey, Chelsea. How you doing?” – Gus, “Who the hell is John Slade?” – Henry Spencer, “Hell no, B. I know your not using Diddle’s death to try to get some play with that shorty.” – Joon (played by Kenan Thompson), 24:00

“Chelsea Patterson, you’re under arrest.” – Det. Moses Johnson, “What is this….John Slade?” -Chelsea, “It’s the end of the road, Chelsea.” – Gus, 39:30

S04E08, “Let’s Get Hairy”:

Ron Davis

Bob Adams

Rich Fingerland

“Hey there, my name is Shawn Spencer, my associate Ron Davis, aka Bob Adams, known to his coven simply as Rich Fingerland.” – Shawn, 9:20

Black Magic

“No, but Halle Berry calls me ‘Black Magic’.” – Burton Guster, 9:25

Cheswhicke

“Hello there , Myrtle, my name is R.P. McMurphy. This is my partner, Cheswhicke. We both have some faulty wiring up in our noggins, and I’m afraid we’re gonna have to talk to the Doc” – Shawn, 14:30



S04E09, “Shawn Takes a Shot in the Dark”:

Donut Holestein

“My name is Shawn Spencer, this is my associate Donut Holestein.” – Shawn, 11:00

S04E10, “You Can’t Handle This Episode”:

Ghee Buttersnaps

The Heater

“I got you, Lassie. Gomer, Shawn Spencer, Paraguayan Ambassador. This is my attache, Ghee Buttersnaps, aka ‘The Heater’. We are here to deliver a large ornamental fruit basket filled with native delicacies to whoever runs this joint.” – Shawn, 8:45

“Oh, This is his partner Ghee Buttersnaps… That’s not your real name.” – Ewan O’Hara (Juliet’s brother), 11:50

“Listen up! At ease. At this moment, against my better judgement, I’m gonna overlook the blatant disregard for the rules and regulations of the United States Army, and say thank you to Shawn Spencer and his partner… Ghee Buttersnaps for their efforts to uncover Lieutenant Wallch’s criminal misconduct.” – Major General, 34:10

S04E11, “Thrill Seekers and Hell-Raisers”:

S04E12, “A Very Juliet Episode”:

The Vault of Secrets

“I will handle this in perfect stealth mode. You might not know this, but I’m known as The Vault of Secrets.” – Gus, 7:00

S04E13, “Death Is in the Air”:

Puffy

“Good news, Puffy.” – Dr. Reidman , “Yeah, I heard. They got the cure.” – Gus, “I hadn’t heard that. But it doesn’t matter anyway, Detective O’Hara doesn’t have Thornburg.” Dr. Reidman, 36:30

S04E14, “Think Tank”:

Ghee Buttersnaps

Lavender Gooms

Clementine Wooliesocks

“Burton Guster, or should I say Ghee Buttersnaps or Lavender Gooms or Clementine Wooliesocks, perhaps?” – Walter Snowden, 3:45

S04E15, “The Head, the Tail, the Whole Damn Episode”:

Guts

Old Ironside

Old Iron Stomach

“You know what? That’s it. We’ve been doing this for four years, I don’t need you to look out for me. I have a new name now. For now on, I want you to call me ‘Guts’…Never mind, call me Old Ironside… Old Iron Stomach. That’s me.” – Burton Guster, 3:00

Tin Tummy

“The victim was chewed off just below the waist…” – Woody, “Tin Tummy.” – Shawn, “Iron Stomach” – Gus , 34:15

S04E16, “Mr. Yin Presents…”:

Gustavson

“I mean, we’re clearly dealing in themes and motifs. Him knowing we were here last night, our clues are gonna be found in Hitchcock films.” – Gus, “That’s very good, Gustavson” – Mary Lightly, 11:30


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Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 3

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S03E01, “Ghosts”:

Fearless Guster

“Haversham thinks my nickname is Fearless Guster.” – Burton Guster, 14:00

Lemongrass Gogoloab

“Hadewych! It’s okay, I’m…I’m Shawn Spencer, it’s me and this is my partner, Lemongrass Gogoloab.” – Shawn, 25:20

S03E02, “Murder?… Anyone?… Anyone?… Bueller?”:

S03E03, “Daredevils!”:

Die-Harder

“Actually, I’m Die-Hard. He’s Die-Harder. We have two other guys in our crew, but they aren’t nearly as good as us.” – Shawn, 9:10

Die Hard on Wikipedia

Squirts Macintosh

“Yo, El Diablo! What’s up, man? [I’m] Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Squirts Macintosh. Just have a couple sort of serious questions for you.” – Shawn, 15:10

S03E04, “The Greatest Adventure in the History of Basic Cable”:

Ernesto Agapito Garces con y a de Abelar

“I am Abner Espinoza and these are my compatriots, Ernesto Agapito Garces con y a de Abelar and Juan Priestly.” – Uncle Jack, 12:00

Sammy

“As long as I can be Dean and Gus can be Sammy.” – Shawn, 16:00

Joey Bishop

“Fine, he’s Sammy. That makes you Joey Bishop. Is that what you really want? You want to be Joey Bishop?” – Shawn, 16:00

Joey Bishop on Wikipedia

Blackstar

Home Skillet 

Big Baby Burton

“So that’s why I called Andres, Che, to see if he’d react, which he did, because in Argentina, ‘Che’ is slang for buddy or pal, sort of like I call you Blackstar or Home Skillet or Big Baby Burton.” -Shawn, 38:15 



S03E05, “Disco Didn’t Die. It was Murdered!”:

Methuselah Honeysuckle

“Yeah, yeah, that’s his Partner, Methuselah Honeysuckle, which makes me Old Scratch Johnson.” – Henry Spencer, 7:50

S03E06, “There Might Be Blood”:

Chesterfield McMillan & Wife

“The truth, Billy Joe, is that we have not been completely honest with you. We’re working for the Coast Guard. My name is Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Chesterfield McMillan & Wife.” – Shawn, 11:20

McMillian & Wife on Wikipedia

S03E07, “Talk Derby To Me”:

Longbranch Pennywhistle

“ManiacManiac19, President Pro-tem, Maniac Fan Club. This is my Vice President Longbranch Pennywhistle.” – Shawn, 13:00

S03E08, “Gus Walks Into a Bank”:

Mr. Tibbs

“But look at you, man. Surviving a bank hostage crisis and still looking all Poitier on a hot day. Go ahead, slap me in the face, tell me they call you Mr. Tibbs” – Shawn, 39:00

S03E09, “Christmas Joy”:

Scrooge Jones

“I’m Mr. Shawn and this is Scrooge Jones. We’re psychic detectives. Who might you be?” – Shawn, 2:00

S03E10, “Six Feet Under the Sea”:

Hummingbird Saltalamaccia

“Ahoy there! uh, yes, right! Uh, my name is Shawn Spencer, this is my first mate Hummingbird Saltalamaccia.” – Shawn, 23:30

S03E11, “Lassie Did a Bad, Bad Thing”:



S03E12, “Earth, Wind and… Wait for It”:

William Zabka

“Gus, don’t be William Zabka from ‘Back to School’. We need to get in with the firemen who put out the fire. Shotgun on fire pole.” – Shawn, 9:30

William Zabka on Wikipedia

Step Anthony Wally Ali

“Shawn Spencer, hunting an arsonist. Step Anthony Wally Ali. Cat stuck in a tree.” – Shawn, 10:10

S03E13, “Any Given Friday Night at 10pm, 9pm Central”:

Taye Diggs

“Benji, the locker room attendant let us in. Big fan of Rent. [I] told him Gus was Taye Diggs so he also gave us these old jerseys. How do I look, Jules?” – Shawn, 11:00

Taye Diggs on Wikipedia

DeQuan ‘Smallpox’ Randolph

“No, it’s because I was observing. My name is Shawn Spencer. I’m a psychic that works for the SBPD. This is my partner, DeQuan ‘Smallpox’ Randolph. You can call him Gus.” – Shawn, 12:30

S03E14, “Truer Lies”:

Hollaback Atcha

“My name is Shawn Spencer, I’m with the Big Uncles of America Program. This is my underprivileged mentee, Hollaback Atcha. He’s selling magazine subscriptions as a way to learn business skills otherwise he’d be forced to join a gang, if he was still on the streets.” – Shawn, 14:20

S03E15, “Tuesday the 17th”:

Lumpkin

Slicks

“Uh, my name is Shawn Spencer. I’m a psychic. This is my partner, Lumpkin…”- Shawn, “My name is Gus, but you can call me Slicks.” – Burton Guster, 10:30

Fearless Guster

“It’ll be okay Sissy, I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation for all of this…Don’t worry, they call me Fearless Guster.” – Shawn, 15:45

S03E16, “An Evening with Mr. Yang”:

Trapeezius Milkington

“As a matter of fact, you can. My partner, Trapeezius Milkington, would like to see something in a Belgian Waffle.” – Shawn, 0:00

Sterling Cooper

“Yeah, well I’ve Googled myself too, and there is a lot of stuff missing. This is my partner, Sterling Cooper.” – Shawn, 5:15

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Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 2

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S02E01, “American Duos”:

Gus TT Showbizz

“I’m Shawn Spence Starr, this is my partner, Gus TT Showbizz.” – Shawn Spence Starr, 9:50 (“The extra T is for extra talent”)

S02E02, “65 Million Years Off”:

The Lock Whisperer

“What are you, The Lock Whisperer?” – Shawn, 16:15

S02E03, “Psy vs Psy”:

Kevin Eubanks

“This must be what Jay Leno feels like when he walks into his garage. Which makes you Kevin Eubanks.” – Shawn, 14:30

Kevin Eubanks on WikipediaZen Food by Kevin Eubanks

S02E04, “Zero to Murder in Sixty Seconds”:

Ovaltine Jenkins

“Johnny G., How are ya?… This is my friend, Ovaltine Jenkins.” – Shawn, 21:15

Ovaltine on WikipediaGet Ovaltine on Amazon.com

S02E05, “And Down the Stretch Comes Murder”:

Burton “Oil Can” Guster

“[I’m] Shawn. This is Burton ‘Oil Can’ Guster.” – Shawn, 9:50

Dr. Pratt

“Thank you, Dr. Pratt. See if we can get another look at that body.” – Shawn, 13:15

The G

“Face it Shawn, I am, and always will be, that good. That’s why my friends in school used to call me The G” – Burton Guster, 40:50

Big Head Burton

“Huh, that’s funny, I thought they called you Big Head Burton.” – Shawn, 41:00

Black Burton

“Who’s gonna call you Black Burton?” – Shawn, 41:20

Burton The Billowy Bear

“How about Burton The Billowy Bear?” – Shawn, 41:35



S02E06, “Meat is Murder, But Murder Is Also Murder”:

Magic Head

“Gus, might I offer my help…Magic Head.” – Shawn , 37:00

S02E07, “If You’re So Smart, Then Why Are You Dead”:

S02E08, “Rob-a-Bye Baby”:

Shmuel Coen

This is Shmuel Coen, he’s my best friend and Godfather to my little Millicent.” – Shawn, 33:30

S02E09, “Bounty Hunters!”:

Galielo Humpkins

“What is everybody’s deal? Like, what is going on here? Is it because I’m not wearing the vest? Is that what it is? You know what, the truth is I’m a psychic detective, this is my partner, Galielo Humpkins.” – Shawn, 11:50

S02E10, “Gus’s Dad May Have Killed an Old Guy”:

Skooney “U-turn” Singleton

“My name’s Shawn, this is my partner, Skooney ‘U-turn’ Singleton. We’re from Dirty Boy Landscaping.” – Shawn, 21:30

S02E11, “There’s Something About Mira”:

S02E12, “The Old and the Restless”:

Knik-Knac

“Hello, I am Dr. Hauser. I’m filling in today. This is my personal candy striper, Knic-Knac. He’s from Guam.” – Shawn, 20:40

“Knic-Knac, get ahold of yourself, or I’ll put you on the first raft back to Talofofo. Oh! God, that looks like roadkill.” Shawn, 21:00



S02E13, “Lights, Camera… Homicidio”:

Lavender Gooms

“Spencer. Shawn Spencer. This is my partner, Lavender Gooms. We’re here with the police investigating the Nunez case.” – Shawn, 7:40

S02E14, “Dis-Lodged”:

Doctor Guster

“Oh, you might not want to do that. Doctor Guster just inseminated an Appaloosa. All the way up to the elbow.” – Shawn, 3:00

Fingers

“You’re 36 months into a subscription for Modern Safe Cracker Magazine, what’s the point?” – Shawn, “I’m an amateur, Shawn.” – Gus,  “Well, It’s time to go pro, Fingers.” -Shawn, “Fingers?” – Gus, “Twist it up.” – Shawn, 29:45

S02E15, “Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion”:

Tan

“No first names. One of us is Black, and one of us is Tan. We’re a modeling team, perhaps you’ve heard of us.” – Shawn, 1:45

Tangus

“You’re not a model?” – Model woman, “I’m only a detective part time and my full name is Tangus” – Burton Guster, 37:00

S02E16, “Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead”:

Bruton Gaster

That says “Photo by Bruton Gaster.” – Burton Guster, 11:30

Paddy Simcox

“My name is Shawn Spencer, I’m working with Sophie and the museum. This is my partner, Paddy Simcox.” – Shawn, 28:50


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Nicknames Of Burton “Gus” Guster – Psych Season 1

Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4
Season 5 | Season 6 | Season 7 | Movies

S01E01, “Pilot”:

S01E02, “Spellingg Bee”:

S01E03, “Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Piece”:

 Peter Panic

S01E04, “Woman Seeking Dead Husband: Smokers Okay, No Pets”:

S01E05, “9 Lives”:

Matt

Gus ‘Sillypants’ Jackson

S01E06, “Weekend Warriors”:



S01E07, “Who Ya Gonna Call?”:

 Francois

S01E08, “Shawn vs. the Red Phantom”:

Chocolate Columbo

Magic Head

S01E09, “Forget Me Not”:

Bruce Lee

Dr. Mc Tock Tic Ta Took

S01E10, “From the Earth to the Starbucks”:

The Jackal

S01E11, “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, He Loves Me, Oops He’s Dead!”:

Sidney Poitier

S01E12, “Cloudy…with a Chance of Murder”:

S01E13, “Game, Set…Muurder?”:

Vernest Lambert Watkins

S01E14, “Poker? I Barely Know Her”:

BigKitty75

Felicia Fancybottom

S01E15, “Scary Sherry: Bianca’s Toast”:

 Bud

“Did you really play Bud on The Cosby Show?” – Sorority Girl, 10:30

“What about Bud? Can he come?” – Sorority Girl 2, 32:00

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like little Bud from the old Cosby Show?” – British Housekeeper, 32:20

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